The Pendulum

“When I let go and let God, I’m more apt to find a place of compassion… the pendulum that swings back and forth between the black-and-white of obsession and indifference finds balance in the peaceful colors of serenity”. – Hope For Today

My uncomfortable feelings mostly come from obsession or passive-aggressive victimized pouting due to detaching with resentment.

In the first case, I have a hope that turns to an expectation as my excitement levels increase. I so badly want to get, fix, or stop something, that, without even realizing it, a disproportionate amount of focus shifts from my balanced life of program, service, work, and hobbies to one thing that dominates my thoughts. This obsession eventually leads to discomfort as my spiritual priorities are pushed aside. And serenity slips away.

In the second case, I am upset about something and, in my attempt to work my program I decide to detach. The problem is that I’m not detaching with love so my higher power is not part of the picture. And without my higher power I’m left with my lower power’s guidance. Sure I’ll detach from that sick person or situation, they or it is so mules send up who would want to be attached to that! But this is my life, and in some way I am attached to them or it. Poor me. Poor me. Pour me another drink. Right?

So what’s the solution? Let go and let God. For me it’s about bringing God into the situation. Obsession or discomfort, in either case the love that envelopes my heart when I reach out to my higher power will balance me, allowing me to step back from the situation and see it with clearer eyes. I can ease my obsession by gently refocusing on my program. I can ease my anger or frustration by gently refocusing on compassion and gratitude.

If I practice awareness of the moment when I start creeping into obsession or anger, and then breath while saying “Let Go and let God”, over and over, I will slowly start to feel better. These behaviors will then, once again, remind me how lucky I am to have the life I do, how lucky I am, and how much ILML!

- JamesQ

2 thoughts on “The Pendulum

  1. Very nicely put! I thought I was always close enough to my God. Recently I for real almost died. Since then I thank him for my life many times daily. When ever I want a drink now I remember my life is valuable to my God and I need to take good care of me for him. When I was drinking I didn’t viewii myself as valuable so I just didn’t care. Eve the fact that I came across this site is a rich blessing since I have absolutely no one else to talk to today and I am still to weak to go out. Thanks

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    • Your welcome Cindy. I’m grateful that my words are a comfort to you and others – quite a blessing for someone like me who was primarily seeking what I could squeeze out of life for myself. Grateful to be on this wonderful road of recovery with you… James

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