“Do you react, or do you respond?… The first implies an immediate answer; the second connotes thoughtful consideration before replying.” – You Can’t Make Me Angry p.69
When I react I’m often defensive, justifying my position, disrespectful, and thinking in terms of black & white / right & wrong. But if I win, they feel hurt, and angry, so really, I still lose. The solution, as always, is gracing the space between the impulse and my reaction by breathing in deeply, connecting to my HP, then responding with love. In this way there are no losers, no one is wrong, and we both win! ILML – James
“Live in the program, not in the problem.” – You Can’t Make Me Angry p.107
For the last week my wife and I have been dealing with a family problem. We have been eating, drinking, and breathing it. Blaming each other too. The problem pulled us apart, and I love her so much. Finally, in desperation, we turned to my sponsor, who shared his experience, strength & hope with us, using the program to get us back on the same team. The Lesson? No matter how hopeless a situation may feel, by using the tools of the program (Spiritual Readings, Journaling, Gratitude Lists, Meetings, Service, Sponsorship, Prayer & Meditation), we can make it better. Now, again, I can really LML.
“Emotional independence means deciding to have a good day no matter how others are feeling, no longer punishing others for past behavior or pouting, and not staying upset simply because the person we love is upset.”
- Adapted from You Can’t Make Me Angry p112-113
Wow, this is really tough for me and shines a light on my codependent habits. I’ve always wanted those I love to be happy, and often futilely try to “fix their feelings”. Whether I actually have a part in their hurt or anger, my attachment to their feelings should end with my amends. Afterwards I need only work my program to the best of my ability, in an attempt to be happy, joyous and free in each and every one of the remaining minutes, hours, days or years that I am blessed to be alive. Today I’ll care but not carry around their unhappiness. Instead I’ll focus on goodness, love and abundance so I can LML as much as possible! Have an epic day!
“My Higher Power never makes mistakes”. – You Can’t Make Me Angry p.37
A boulder in my path can be an insurmountable obstacle that ruins my life – something I think about long after I’m forced to take a new path. Or it can be a great opportunity to enrich my life by broadening my horizons. Perhaps the new path takes me out of my comfort zone, but the rewards could be amazing, if my eyes are open to them. Today if life throws me a curve ball, I won’t duck – I’ll hit it out of the park! ILML – James
Thank you for another day, the chance to live, to feel, for happiness that comes from giving, for friends and peace and the morning sun. Thank you again God for another day.”- Adapted from 12 Step Prayer Book
This simple, beautiful message reminds me that just by virtue of being alive today I have been given the opportunity to celebrate so many wonderful things. I choose to focus on the abundance of blessings before me, instead of what my disease would tell me to think about (unmet expectations in me, my life and others around me). In turn, my life is epically amazing and I’m the luckiest man I know. ILML :)
“May I always remember that the power within me is far greater than any fear before me. May I always have patience, for I am on the right road”. – Drop The Rock
If all resentment stems from fear, the question becomes: How do I eliminate fear? Tuning into the power within as frequent as possible seems to work. It keeps me faithFULL and fearLESS… I’m back & iLmL!!! – Richie
“Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.” – Alcoholics Anonymous
When I’m having any struggles in my life, a good question to ask is “what are my motives in this situation”. Chances are I’m attempting to get something, keep something or have someone do or say things differently so that I feel better. When I can identify this, then ask how I can help others, I transform my selfish, self-centered motives into God-centered ones. The sunlight of the spirit enters, expelling the bondage of self. Once again, I get to be happy, joyous and free! ILML :))
“True ambition is not what we thought it was. True ambition is the profound desire to live usefully and walk humbly under the grace of God.”
What would happen to this world if even 1% of people practiced true ambition? It is a powerful transformative force that I am so grateful to have found…for me it’s a really simple choice… I was wired to live this way or suffer a whole lot! Love your day! – Roozbeh
“When we focus on abundance, our life feels abundant, when we focus on lack, our life feels lacking. It is purely a matter of focus.” – Attitudes of Gratitude
This is definitely one of the founding principles in our life loving club. What we focus on gets bigger. For me, the key is recognizing when I’m focused on the negative and finding something to be grateful for – the quicker the better. Lucky for me, a recovering alcoholic, the list of blessings I’ve been given is almost endless. ILML in cold, cold LA :)
“People usually consider walking on water or thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk on water or thin air, but to walk on earth” – The Miracle of Mindfulness
This reminds me of the saying that heaven is here on earth. But so is hell. I have experienced both. When I shift my perception to gratitude by using the tools of recovery, my life is miraculous. When I get lazy, or busy, or forgetful, or think I no longer need to invest time and energy into my spiritual rituals, I start to feel discontent once again. By making time to adjust my attitude each day, I get to fall back in love with my life, no matter what happened yesterday, or what may happen tomorrow!