12 Step Work

Respond in Love

JamesQ — Mon, 11 Apr 2011 19:59:21 +0000

“Do you react, or do you respond?… The first implies an immediate answer; the second connotes thoughtful consideration before replying.” – You Can’t Make Me Angry p.69

When I react I’m often defensive, justifying my position, disrespectful, and thinking in terms of black & white / right & wrong. But if I win, they feel hurt, and angry, so really, I still lose. The solution, as always, is gracing the space between the impulse and my reaction by breathing in deeply, connecting to my HP, then responding with love. In this way there are no losers, no one is wrong, and we both win! ILML – James

Receive the Rewards

JamesQ — Mon, 11 Apr 2011 06:43:08 +0000

“…the more I’m willing to act differently, the more exciting my life is. The more I am willing to help others, the more rewards I receive. Fun and benefits are in the willingness to do the actions, not to get immediate results.” – DtR p109

I have to remember to just take the next correct indicated action and trust that my HP will provide me with what I need. Today I will do my best to not worry about the future or the past and simply take the necessary actions to stay out of self. Ilml! – Jason

Live in the Program

JamesQ — Sun, 20 Mar 2011 22:23:48 +0000

“Live in the program, not in the problem.” – You Can’t Make Me Angry p.107

For the last week my wife and I have been dealing with a family problem. We have been eating, drinking, and breathing it. Blaming each other too. The problem pulled us apart, and I love her so much. Finally, in desperation, we turned to my sponsor, who shared his experience, strength & hope with us, using the program to get us back on the same team. The Lesson? No matter how hopeless a situation may feel, by using the tools of the program (Spiritual Readings, Journaling, Gratitude Lists, Meetings, Service, Sponsorship, Prayer & Meditation), we can make it better. Now, again, I can really LML.

Emotional Independence

JamesQ — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 21:37:03 +0000

“Emotional independence means deciding to have a good day no matter how others are feeling, no longer punishing others for past behavior or pouting, and not staying upset simply because the person we love is upset.”
- Adapted from You Can’t Make Me Angry p112-113

Wow, this is really tough for me and shines a light on my codependent habits. I’ve always wanted those I love to be happy, and often futilely try to “fix their feelings”. Whether I actually have a part in their hurt or anger, my attachment to their feelings should end with my amends. Afterwards I need only work my program to the best of my ability, in an attempt to be happy, joyous and free in each and every one of the remaining minutes, hours, days or years that I am blessed to be alive. Today I’ll care but not carry around their unhappiness. Instead I’ll focus on goodness, love and abundance so I can LML as much as possible! Have an epic day!

Lead with the Program

JamesQ — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 18:16:44 +0000

“Above all, don’t be passive aggressive. Don’t acquiesce for now but get back at your partner later. And don’t go along with it on private but complain about it to your friends. Take a leadership role in your own life while your partner is doing whatever they are doing with their life.” – You Can’t Make Me Angry p106

Good reminder for me to be assertive and work a program in the way that I take care of myself so I can keep my side of the street clean and stay serene and in solution. I cannot afford to live in self will, ego, revenge, and resentment. Ilml! – Jason

Room for Improvement

JamesQ — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 22:51:43 +0000

“One must not hold one’s self so devine as to be unwilling occasionally to make improvements in one’s creations…We addicted and codependent men too often feel ashamed of our mistakes. It pains us to admit there is room for improvement in what we have done.- Touchstones Meditations for Men

This is exactly how I’ve been feeling since losing focus on my program and that I must change my routine to be truely happy. I thank my HP for blessing me with the strength to continue and reach out to others. ILML today! -Nic

The Boulder

JamesQ — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 22:24:59 +0000

“My Higher Power never makes mistakes”. – You Can’t Make Me Angry p.37

A boulder in my path can be an insurmountable obstacle that ruins my life – something I think about long after I’m forced to take a new path. Or it can be a great opportunity to enrich my life by broadening my horizons. Perhaps the new path takes me out of my comfort zone, but the rewards could be amazing, if my eyes are open to them. Today if life throws me a curve ball, I won’t duck – I’ll hit it out of the park! ILML – James

The Best Possible Scenario

JamesQ — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 20:59:34 +0000

“It is only when I have experienced enough emotional pain, through failed attempts to fix myself, that I become willing to surrender to God’s will for my life. Surrender is like the calm after the storm. When my will is in line with God’s will for me, there is peace within.” Drop the Rock, p77

This has to be true for me or I am not at peace. Several things lately have made me upset and unhappy. I have to believe that these circumstances are put in my life for nothing less than the best possible scenario for having an amazing life. It’s difficult to see that sometimes; but when I do, I always love my life.

Thank You

JamesQ — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 01:50:12 +0000

Thank you for another day, the chance to live, to feel, for happiness that comes from giving, for friends and peace and the morning sun. Thank you again God for another day.”- Adapted from 12 Step Prayer Book

This simple, beautiful message reminds me that just by virtue of being alive today I have been given the opportunity to celebrate so many wonderful things. I choose to focus on the abundance of blessings before me, instead of what my disease would tell me to think about (unmet expectations in me, my life and others around me). In turn, my life is epically amazing and I’m the luckiest man I know. ILML :)

The God Line

JamesQ — Thu, 03 Mar 2011 21:13:51 +0000

“Discouragement is a warning signal that I may have wandered across the God line. The secret of fulfilling my potential is in acknowledging my limitations and believing that time is a gift, not a threat. May I always remember that the power within me is far greater than any fear before me. May I always have patience, for I am on the right road.” – Drop the Rock – pg 70

Good reminder for me. I often think I have to make up for lost time, being I was lost in my addiction for so many years. I have found patience and serenity through working the steps which has allowed me to regain what I had and receive what I never thought I could have. This happens only when I seek a HP and find the power within me, work steps, and live by these principles. When I don’t, I’m discouraged, back to fighting the universe. I have to work for my daily reprieve. Ilml!! – Jason