These Little Gems

“… quiet the mind; open the heart.” — Hope For Today

What a wonderful mantra. I read this today and tried repeating it silently with my eyes shut while breathing deeply. 

Quiet my mind, open my heart. Quiet my mind, open my heart. Quiet my mind, open my heart. 

It’s a nice break from the numerous thoughts and feelings which so often seem to dominate my brain. Finding and using these little gems during my Golden Hour are another reason why ILML! 

— JamieQ

The Secret Room

“The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.” — William James

My moment of discovery was the day I found the secret room. It was located in the UCLA Medical Center on 15th Street in Santa Monica. A small candlelight room filled to capacity. I felt uncomfortable and out of place. Up until that time, I had been feeling  pretty lost and out of place, seeking a meaning and purpose to life. This program and the people in its rooms changed my attitude, gave me a purpose and helped me love myself and the world around me. I’m so lucky to have found that room, and to have all of you along with me on this ride in recovery. ILML! 

— JamieQ

Not “My Way”

“For me, my spiritual practice is all about becoming comfortable with uncertainty and relaxing in the mystery…”  Elizabeth Lesser

Life would be so much easier if we always knew what was going to happen. But there would be no surprises, and most likely life would be pretty boring. The program is teaching me, one day at a time, how to gracefully accept – and even enjoy – those moments when things don’t go just my way. And quite often, not “my way” turns out to be much better than “my way” ever would have. ILML! 

— JamieQ

Living Abundantly

“I learn to combine initiative with humility, responsibility with thankfulness, and thus relish the joys of living my 24 hour program.”

– Daily Reflections 3/30/15

To me this quote is talking about being of service, humility, and getting myself into action by just suiting up and showing up for my program on a daily basis. 

Along with my daily actions such as going to meetings, doing spiritually, praying/meditating, sharing with my sponsor, etc. I exercise humility and connect to a power greater than myself. 

Taking these actions is me surrendering my will and aligns me with God’s will which opens me up to living abundantly thus being happy, joyous, and free. I’m going to stay in the solution today love my life.

— JasonW

A Giant Weighted Cape

“Intimacy involves sharing my deepest fears and secrets while trusting the other person will accept them.” – Hope For Today 

It wasn’t until coming into the program and confiding in a sponsor that I finally felt I could be 100% forthright about everything I felt, thought and did in my life. 

Revealing it all in my 5th step was like a giant weighted cape being lifted of my shoulders. My daily program, having a Higher Power I trust, and keeping my side of the street clean helps keep the load off my back. 

I’m grateful that I have someone to whom I can be rigorously honest with, who doesn’t judge or shame me, but rather helps me find my way when I am lost. Thank you Dan. ILML! 

— JamieQ

Right Giving Creates Love

“…the secret of happiness is in giving. It is the heart and soul of our spiritual life.” — In God’s Care

I love helping others, giving gifts, doing random acts of kindness, and giving to those in need. I’m a helper at heart. 

While giving is great, I’ve learned that there are situations in which it causes more damage than good. 

With the exception of supervising at work or with young children, when I try to manage, direct or control someone else’s affairs, without being asked to do so, that behavior is harmful to both of us. 

In the past, I’ve used the excuse of “being helpful” to justify this behavior. The truth is, “helping” gives me a sense of superiority by having the answer or knowing the “right” way someone else should do something. Attempting to get others to do things my way only gives me the illusion of control and safety, while others rebel against my dominance and righteousness. My goal is to love and be loved – but this behavior actually does the opposite — it pushes people away. 

And rescuing others from the consequences of their actions, in the name of “being of service o” deprives them of the ability to understand the harm they’ve done, learn from it, and grow into a more responsible, happier person. My unsolicited help deprives them of that opportunity. 

Likewise, when I give to others at the expense of taking care of myself, depriving me of those things that make me feel comfortable and safe, I’m bound to be hurt. 

Right giving creates love for me and others. It comes from a genuine desire to do what’s best for others, only when it’s appropriate for me to help, when I’m welcomed to do so, and provided that I am concurrently taking care of myself spiritually, emotionally and physically. 

Today I will give to others when it’s truly in everyone’s best interest. ILML! 

— JamieQ

I Have A Choice

“I can choose to let it define me, confine me, refine me, outshine me, or I can choose to move on and leave it behind me.” – Anonymous

When anything happens to me, I have a choice: hold onto it or let it go. These days I do as the program suggests: I take what I like and leave the rest. Alanon taught me to detach from toxic thoughts, behaviors, people and experiences. I can learn from every experience I have, but I get to choose what memories I hold on to. I love keeping my focus on the good ones and ILML!

— JamieQ