Open up the Window

“… the minute I close my channels with sorrow for myself, or being hurt by, or resentful toward anyone, I am in horrible danger.” Big Book

Last night I closed the channels. I wasn’t able to restrain my mouth when I got angry. Today I am suffering from the emotional hangover. Luckily I have a program that shows me the way back when I slip. Working the 10th & 11th steps helps me open up the window to allow the sunlight of the spirit back into my life, reminding me that ILML!

Freedom, Happiness & Service

“I am free, I am happy, and perhaps I am going to have the blessed opportunity of “passing it on.” Big Book, A Feminine Victory

After reading that, I was thinking about those three ideas. Freedom – from the active disease dominating my every waking moment. Yes, I’m free of that. Happiness – mine has come from really working the program in my life. It’s a happiness that I never thought I could achieve. And finally, passing it on. I’m so lucky that others have blessed me by asking me to share my experience, strength & hope with them. I truly love this life which the program has given me!

- JamesQ

No Blame = No Victim

“When we forgive… we set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner we set free is us.” – The Art of Forgiveness

We all get hurt, but it is so hard to forgive when the hurt is repetitive or deep. Have you ever noticed how blaming and victimhood go hand-in-hand? My secret backdoor to forgiving is to stop blaming.

No Blame = No Victim.

I’m not always ready to say “I forgive you” or “accept” their behavior. But I can always become aware of blaming (in my mind or out loud), and simply stop it. This frees me from replaying the injury over and over again and remaining a victim. I love living in the solution and ILML!

- JamieQ

Stop Behaving that Way

“Your willingness to look at your darkness is what empowers you to change.” Iyanla Vanzant

This is the central theme behind steps 4-10. Looking for what I don’t like about how I behave opens me to the possibility to stop behaving that way. Think about it for a second. Wouldn’t it be great to always behave in a way that would make you and those that love you proud? I would. That’s why I’m on this path — to become the best me I can be. One thought, one word and one action at a time. Grateful that I’ve taken a breath in this busy life to share this moment with you. ILML!

JamieQ

I Can Breathe the Air

“Life is a celebration!” – 12 Step Prayer Book

Some days we may feel “what’s to celebrate?” Sometimes things aren’t going our way and we simply cannot find a way to understand why not. Tragedies happen. Both my mom and baby brother died and those were very, very dark days for me. But even so, I believed. This program has given me the ability to hope in the face of hopelessness. I can breathe the air. The stars are out at night. I can hear, feel, touch, see and smell. Those are miracles. Life is a celebration and I don’t want to miss a second of enjoying it. Loving life in Boston, MA! Hope you are too!

- JamesQ

Thank You God

“… face the hideous Four Horseman—Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair.” – AA p.151

Wow, I can remember those days. Awakening to wonder what happened last night. Slowly I would begin to remember and think “Oh my God”. I am forever grateful that those days are over. Of course fear occasionally does crop up, as well as disappointment, frustration and even hopelessness. But they are short lived when I use the tools. Both terror & bewilderment have all but disappeared. And instead of saying “Oh my God”, these days I say “Thank you God”. I love the program and ILML!

- James

My Monstralin Antidote

“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster”. – Quote from Nietzsche in Courage to Change

As I am baited and my buttons get pushed, as my resolve to stay positive and restrain my tongue begins to weaken, I begin to feel the dormant human chemical I call “monstralin” release into my body. As it begins to saturate my bloodstream, I once again realize how righteous and invincible I really am. My armor becomes strong and impenetrable to the voice of reason or my Higher Power. I then wield my mighty power to decimate the feelings of others, sometimes destroying a relationship it two. I continue to go on and ruin opportunities for healing and abundance. I have become the monster I am fighting. My only hope is to diligently and consistently work a spiritual program of action. It’s my monstralin antidote. Today I’m doing the deal and hopefully will avoid becoming the monster.
ILML!

- JamesQ