100% Unacceptable

“The moment you start to resent a person you become that person’s slave. They control your dreams, rob you of peace, hound you, invade your sleep, sap your energy, and stay with you everywhere you go.” – Adapted from 12 Step Prayer Book 

Wow! That sounds horrible. The question is: why would anyone ever have a resentment? Or better yet, how can I be sure to never have one again? The solution I’ve found is be aware of the moment when someone upsets me and make an immediate decision that I’m unwilling to be their victim and slave. Resentment is 100% unacceptable today. Then I quickly shift my focus to something that makes me smile and feel good. I don’t ignore the problem, I just detach from it, then, once again, ILML! 


Spiritually Fit

“Seek a conscious contact with God more and more each day. Make God an abiding presence during the day. Be conscious of his spirit helping you. All that is done without God’s Spirit is passing. All that is done with God’s Spirit is life eternal.”– 24 Hours a Day 8/4

This is a good reminder to keep God in my thoughts and stay connected. It is so easy for me to forget about a higher power for long periods of time and have seemingly no conscious contact that I’m aware of. My happiness and success depends on how spiritually fit I am. Everything I have is a result of staying sober, working the steps, and connecting with a higher power on a daily basis. I have to remember that and work towards that connection every day. Staying in the solution today. I love my relationship with a higher power. ILML!

– JasonW

Icky Feelings Evaporate

“Love is a balm that heals… lightens our burdens… invites inner joy… connects us, one with another. This recovery program has offered us a plan for loving others, as well as ourselves. ” – Each Day a New Beginning
Whenever we feel uncomfortable the quickest way to feel better is to tap into love. Think of things you love. Think of people you love. Think of ways to be loving to yourself and then take the actions to make it happen. Think of ways to express love to people you love, then do it. Eat something tasty and healthy. Practice a hobby. Do something relaxing. Send a sweet text of appreciation to a friend or family member. By taking a loving action, we will feel love flow in and the icky feelings evaporate. I love inviting love in, because the moment I do it, ILML! 

– JamieQ

The Victim Game

“If we blame others… we continue to live as victims.” – Reaching for Personal Freedom 

I grew up in a family with lots of children. The kid that cried the loudest, got the most attention. Oftentimes, that was me. I knew how to game the system. Being the victim may have served my desire for attention as a child, but as an adult, it’s no fun. Victims are unhappy, hurt and angry – quite the opposite of how I prefer to feel. So why does blaming make us a victim? Because it renders us powerless. If it’s their fault, I can’t do anything about it. Instead, I’ve learned to empower myself by shifting my focus off of what they did, or what happened that’s out of my control, step away from the problem, and focus on the solution – gratitide. I’m done playing the victim game. It’s much more fun when ILML! 

– JamieQ

The Great Plan

“Whatever I believe, I can pray for greater faith today.” – Courage to Change

I have a dictionary app on my phone that tells me one definition of faith is: Complete confidence in a person or plan. That’s how I interpret faith. Confidence that a plan for the greatest, most wonderful life I could ever imagine is unfolding. However, I can get in the way of that plan’s ability to manifest itself when I try to control it too much. When something doesn’t go the way I want it to, instead of assuming that it’s a bad thing, getting into fear, resentment, or self-pity, I’m much better off having faith that it’s just part of the great plan for my ultimate happiness. Today, if life isn’t seeming to exactly align with my expectations, instead of being disappointed or upset, I’ll simply say “Than You!” In this way I’ll remind myself that I’m not running the show, I can’t see the entire great plan, but I can have faith that things are really working out for the best in the long run. When acceptance is my motto, ILML!

– JamieQ

Death is Inevitable

“Recognizing the impermanence of everything and everyone is one way to wake ourselves out of habit and really focus on the beauty in our life.” – Attitudes of Gratitude in Love

I’ve noticed something about the topic of death – most people don’t want to talk about it. Although it’s one of the few definitive facts of life that can be counted upon with 100% certainty, it seems to be a fairly taboo subject for most. I suspect that’s because people are generally fearful about death – it spells the end of something most of us treasure, life. I’ve always had a slightly difference perception of death. My ability to freely talk about it comes from the idea that when I recognize that my life, and the lives of those I love, will end, life itself becomes more precious. The thought that death is inevitable makes me immensely grateful for life. This awareness is another reason why ILML! 

– JamieQ

Today’s Gratitude 

I’m grateful I read out of recovery books almost every day of my life. I’m educating myself daily in the art of living peacefully with people, places and things over which I have very little control. By taking the time each day to discover more tools, tricks, hints and suggestions about how to better practice acceptance, patience, understanding, compassion, tolerance, empathy, and love in situations that are uncomfortable to me, I more fully love my life regardless of what may happen in the course of each day. I’m grateful that, more often than not, my words are measured and thoughtful, rather than reactive and defensive. I can’t underestimate the benefit I experience by checking in with myself, taking a temperature and inventory of myself, each day, in my journal. It’s a process of self-discovery far more beneficial than just ruminating in my mind about things – over and over again. I’m grateful for the fellowship, for I’m surrounded by the most incredibly wonderful group of people I could ever know – all of whom are striving to love their lives and improve themselves. I love my job, my family, Maui, Santa Monica, nature, my 5 amazing senses, and this spiritual journey in the human body suit. It’s epic and ILML! 
– JamieQ