“We must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long or happily in this world.” — Big Book p.73-74
I’ve never once lied to my sponsor Dan. For that I am grateful. I chose someone I can trust implicitly, with both the deepest, darkest secrets of my life, as well as with my fears, insecurities and misbehaviors. And his direction comes from three sources: (1) his experience, strength and hope, (2) our program literature, and (3) a universal Higher Power that we both share.
My sponsor, like me, is a double winner, utilizing the tools of both AA and AlAnon, which allows us to navigate the issues surrounding me, my addictions and my challenges, but also those relating to my interpersonal relationships with others, which often are my greatest challenges.
Dan has not always been my sponsor. In fact, the first 7 years of sobriety was sponsor-less, as I stayed abstinent without AA. With no one to confide in, I stayed as sick as my secrets. And though I didn’t drink or use, my dis-ease steadily increased. Those were my hardest years in abstinence from alcohol and drugs. Each of the three sponsors preceding Dan imparted their own gifts along the way.
I must confess that I often wait too long to reach out to my sponsor when I’m struggling. I think it’s primarily because I know he’ll ask me if I have talked to God about it, done some writing on it, and in the process discovered anything. So I try that before I call him and 90% of the time, I find my part, extricate myself from the problem and get into solution. The other 10% of the time, when I pick up the phone, he is always there for me.
That’s the magic of this program. We show up for others. And the reward we receive is so far greater than any amount of money we could be paid. We are filled with a sense of purpose, humility, gratitude, self-esteem and love. I have lived a long life already and experience a level of happiness that very few ever come to know. When I’m truly honest with my sponsor, and go to him when I cannot find my way out of my dis-ease… ILML!
Few years ago I found this site by accident, specifically for the Morning Stepwork worksheet. I am consistently impressed with the well rounded “suggestions” and blog posts. This one in particular reminded me the power of the rigorous honesty, thats when I fully surrendered over four years ago. Thank you for sharing your journey with us, I consistently recommend your Spiritual Backpack and Morning Stepwork for my own sponsees. Thanks for your service.
Awesome. Thanks for the comment Sarah and I’m so glad you’ve found some value in the blog. I feel so grateful to have found both physical and emotional sobriety in the programs of AA and AlAnon and love passing it on. Congratulations on your adventure into recovery too. Life is so much better clean and sober!!!!