From page 19 in The Best of Bill it says “Let us always love the best in others – and never fear their worst”.
When I focus on what’s wrong with other people, they look worse, and I’m more miserable. The next time I do that, I’ll stop. Then I’ll focus on the good stuff. When I do that, everything gets better. That’s what I love about recovery, I don’t need to be upset for more than a few minutes each day when I use the tools. ILML
This is a great reminder that when I’m thinking other than loving thoughts about people, it means I’m in fear about something (usually fearing I’m not getting treated how I want to be).
Just because they did something that I disapprove of, doesn’t mean I need to focus on it, or fear it will happen again, or that the consequences of their behavior will hurt me. I’ve found for every character defect, there’s an opposite and opposing wonderful character trait. In fact, as my step-mom, a faithful Alanon always said, “Our defects are simply our assets out of balance”. So, rather than focusing on the defect, let me realize that they are just like me – a little out of balance every once in awhile. This allows me to move from resentment to compassion, opening up the door to see the good in everything. And when I do that, I realize once again, that indeed, ILML.