https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-h264s-1b814fa
Ever think, “If they would just change, things would be so much better”?

 

Maybe it’s your partner, your friend, your neighbor, or your coworker. You can see the solution perfectly. Honestly, it’s not me or what I’m doing. It’s them. They need to change.

 

Except there’s one problem. They think it’s you that needs to change, not them.

 

In this episode of The Perceptual Shift Show, James and Robbie explore our tendency to try to change other people—sometimes without even realizing we’re doing it. What we think is helpful advice or encouragement may feel very different to the person on the receiving end.

 

We’ve talked before about the Hula Hoop Principle: focusing on what’s inside our own hula hoop—our thoughts, actions, reactions, and perceptions—and letting other people take care of what’s inside theirs. Sounds simple. Actually doing it is another story.

 

Sometimes we really do have a responsibility to step in, speak up, or lead. But a lot of the time, the challenge is recognizing when we’ve stepped outside our own hula hoop and started trying to manage someone else’s.

The perceptual shift comes when we stop asking, “How do I get them to change?” and start looking at what’s happening inside our own hula hoop.

Because sometimes the person we’re so sure needs to change isn’t the only one who could use a little changing.

 

WHAT YOU’LL HEAR

 

• Why our attempts to “help” someone can sometimes be attempts to change them  
• What it really means to stay in your own hula hoop  
• How we subtly manipulate people while telling ourselves we’re not trying to change them  
• When it’s appropriate to lead—and when it’s time to stay in your own lane  
• Why leading by example often works better than trying to change someone

 

TIMESTAMPS

 

7:50 — How to Attract Everything You Desire ✨

18:34 — When You Keep Choosing the Wrong People ❤️‍🩹

20:19 — A Buzzkill Boyfriend Puts the Kibosh on the Party 😂

22:53 — Turning Someone Else’s Hula Hoop Into Target Practice 🎯

29:58 — The Dramatic Story of the Peacock & the Centipede 🦚🐛

 

ORDER THE BOOK

 

📖 Amazon (Paperback)  

The Perceptual Shift — Paperback on Amazon

 

📱 Amazon (Kindle)  

The Perceptual Shift — Kindle on Amazon

 

📚 Barnes & Noble  

The Perceptual Shift — Barnes & Noble

 

LISTEN, SUBSCRIBE & FOLLOW

 

Instagram & TikTok: @JamesMQuine

 

If trying to change others isn’t working out very well for you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who might need a little perceptual shift of their own.

 

And remember…

When we finally let go of the urge to change someone else, we create the very room they need to evolve.