“I soon learned to laugh at myself and eventually I taught those I sponsor to laugh also. Every day I ask God to help me stop taking myself too seriously.”
– Drop the Rock
Looking for the humor in life has allowed me to stay in gratitude. It reminds me that God is involved and that life is hilarious. It took practice, but this outlook invites more levity and fun into my day. iLmL
– RichieB
“…we didn’t have to accept unacceptable behavior. I set some limits, not to control others, but to offer myself guidelines so that I would know what was in was not acceptable and what to do about it.”
– Courage to change 2/20
This is one of the best tools that I have gained in recovery. How to set boundaries for myself and others and avoid bad behavior. I didn’t know how to do that when I got to the program. I was so used to hanging around with people with extremely bad behavior that it was normal to me.
By working the program, one day at a time, negativity in life is minimal and I’m grateful. ILML!
-JasonW
“We learn in the program that we cannot punish anyone without punishing ourselves. The release of my tensions, even justified, in a punishing way leaves behind the dregs of bitterness and pain. Today I will remember to deal with anger appropriately.” – A day at a time 2/18
Impatience, anger, and aggressively talking to people are character defects of mine. In sobriety, even the most subtle of bad behavior greatly affects me. This quote is a great reminder to show love and tolerance to myself and others. I cannot afford to have anger damage myself or others. ILML!
– JasonW
“Higher Power… I pray to keep open my connection with You and to keep it clear from the confusion of daily life.” – 12 Step Prayer Book
I love having a Higher Power. It took many years in recovery for me to get one. My belief that people who believed in God were deceiving themselves by believing in something made up and not real is what kept me from getting a Higher Power for years.
One day, while driving over the Pali on Maui, I heard a radio announcer say “you know what God is folks, it’s a make believe friend for grownups.”
Somehow that resonated. He simultaneously confirmed my suspicions and reminded me that I used to play with made up friends when I was a kid and alone. So why couldn’t I do it as an adult. As long as I realized it was made up, how could it hurt? And by then ( 10 years sober) I didn’t care what others would think of my beliefs – I just wanted what I saw others who had a “God” in the program seemed to have. So I made one up.
In program it says we get to choose a God of our understanding. So I decided mine will be love and gratitude. Along with all the good, wonderful, optimistic, grateful, kind, and encouraging feelings. I also decided he will be a guy, like my best invisible friend in the whole world. Always there, watching my back, rooting for me, giving me the best advice which inevitably is grounded in love – both for me and others. That way, by pretending he is real, it would be easier for me to communicate with my made up Higher Power.
This was one if the best decisions of my life. Instantly I went from not believing in God because I thought God was a made up concept, to believing in God because I knew I was making up my own concept of God. And the great thing was that once I did it, my life was a thousand times more comfortable. Like having the weight of the world taken off my shoulders. Made up or not, it worked for me (and still does)!
But there’s a caveat. Just like at the end of meetings, when we all say “It works if you work it”, the benefits I get from having a Higher Power are only revealed to me when I’m connected to that source of love and gratitude.
When I pray I get connected. When I journal I connect. Helping others for fun and for free does it too. So I spend a lot of hours each day doing things that plug me in (meditation, meetings, exercise, reading spiritual books, etc). And in doing so I allow the sunlight of the spirit of love and gratitude to flow through me and out into the universe where it can touch others. ILML!
– James Q
C2C “My vision can be so limited. I often think that the only possible outcomes are those that I can imagine. Fortunately, my higher power is not restricted my such logic. In fact, some of the most wondrous events grow out of what appears to be disasters.”
BOOM! This gives me so much hope. I often don’t connect through prayer and meditation enough to keep this at the forefront of my mind. Today I’m asking for help while I do the deal. The big Gee Ohh Dee has my back. Although it seems to work better when I invite a different solution then the limited one I imagine through prayer and meditation. iLmL
– RichieB
“Let me not dilute the effectiveness of the help I can give by letting it take the form of giving advice. I know I will never have enough insight into another’s life to tell that person what is best to do.”
– The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage (C2C pg 36)
The more my heart is involved, the more challenging this is to adhere to. When I love someone, I deceive myself by thinking I know what’s best. Today I’m going to trust Gods plan for all of us and let go of everything I THINK I know. iLmL
– RichieB
“Focusing on ourselves actually allows us to release other people to solve their own problems and frees us to contentment and even happiness for ourselves.” – Survival to Recovery
I like fixing things. Fixing problems can be a good thing. But trying to fix other people’s problems, when they haven’t asked me to, can create more problems.
I used to be confused about this, thinking I’m just being helpful. But AlAnon taught me to just listen, and if I’m compelled to help, say “would you like my help?”
I don’t this this perfectly or as often as I could, but I’m making progress slowly but surely, which is just another reason why ILML!
– JamesQ
“… show me today what I can do to help someone who is hurting…” 12 Step Prayer Book
Before I came to the program, I had no idea how lucky I am to have the opportunity to be of service in this way. When I help another who is suffering, here’s what happens to me:
(1) I temporarily forget about all my problems,
(2) self-centeredness slips away
(3) I feel appreciated by another human being,
(4) I feel like I have a greater purpose
(5) I gain self-esteem, and
(6) gratitude for my life increases.
If I actually help them, that’s great. Either way, when I reach out my hand to another, I am given gifts beyond my wildest dreams! ILML
– JamesQ
From the 12 Step Prayer Book
– First Things First –
Dear Higher Power, remind me to tidy up my own mind, to keep my sense of values straight, to sort out the possible and the impossible, to turn the impossible over to you, and to get busy on the possible.”
This reminds me of a more in depth serenity prayer. Today I am focusing on my personal program and inviting you to join me. As Chris McG. puts it, DO WORK! iLmL
– RichieB
From Daily Reflections “The first tradition reminds me not to take credit, or authority, for my recovery. Placing our common welfare first reminds me not to become a healer in this program; I am still one of the patients”
I love helping people. This sometimes leaves me feeling like a healer in AA. Even as I write it I laugh because its so painfully obvious that I am not responsible for anyones happiness, growth, or recovery. Today I’m going to stay quiet and listen. If help is needed, God will let me know… iLmL
– RichieB
12 Step Work 