The Best Me I Can Be

“Overtime, some of us become too comfortable living with our familiar, unhealthy behaviors.” –  Reaching for Personal Freedom 

We’ve all heard the expression “It’s progress, not perfection.” But all too often, what some of us hear is “It’s ok to keep practicing my defects of character, as long as I’m making progress at letting some go.” Here’s the problem with that, for me. I feel badly when I ACT badly. Others then react to me.  Then I blame them. And the cycle of upsettedness continues. That kind of existence sucks. As such, I try not to ever use “progress not perfection” as an excuse to justify my bad behavior. Instead, I journal daily to discover if I’ve acted poorly. I then make immediate amends, committing to try not to repeat the behavior. By taking responsibility for my behavior, and striving always to be the best me I can be, ILML! 

Shifting our POV

“Nothing about my circumstances had changed except the way I felt about them… Change your thoughts and you change your world.” – Courage to Change 

After years of consistently doing recovery rituals I’ve learned how truly powerful my perception is. It’s actually the pivital point of my state of mind. Look that way at things, they’re terrible. Look the other way at them, they’re all gifts. When I get too busy to read from uplifting, positive, affirming literature, or to journal out what’s going on in my life, or to write out a gratitude list, to pray, stretch, meditate, exercise, eat healthy, or fellowship with others that are walking this life loving road, then I see things negatively. Earlier today I was in bit of discomfort. Right now I’m doing The Daily Deal and feel my POV shifting to a place where… ILML! 

– JamieQ

Let Go and Let Them

“I no longer do things for others that they can do for themselves.”- Adapted from Courage to Change 

When helping someone else deprives them of the opportunity to learn, grow and experience that wonderful feeling of accomplishment, I’m not really helping, I’m hurting. I’ve learned that acting in this way, with my kids and other people, makes them dependent upon me, and ultimately we’ll both end up resenting each other. Instead, in situations where it’s evident that they should learn to take responsibility for themselves, no matter how much I want to come to their rescue, I allow them the dignity to step up for themselves – even if they’re pleading with me to help. When I have the strength to restrain myself from helping others in areas where they can help themselves, I give them the gift of self-esteem and ILML! 

– JamieQ

Fearful in a Hostile World

“Before the coming of faith I had lived as an alien in a cosmos that too often seemed both hostile and cruel. In it there could be no inner security for me.” – As Bill Sees It

Hearing those words reminds me of how I felt from very early on as a boy and then teenager. It was as if I were completely lost in a scary place by myself. Almost everyone else seemed to be fine. Those I found that felt like me also turned to drugs and alcohol to escape the pain of feeling like an alien, frightened and trapped with no way out. Coming to meetings helped. For the first time I was with others that felt like me but didn’t use and drink. But it wasn’t until I finally surrendered my righteous disbelief of God and made a decision to have a friendship with a higher power of my understanding that I finally felt at peace. No longer do I feel like a fearful alien in a hostile world. Now I feel safe, comfortable, peaceful and ILML! 

– JamieQ

Diving into Gratitude

“Trade your expectations for appreciation and the world changes instantly.” – Tony Robbins

In this day and age when political tensions run high and so many of us wish that we could change things, I like to remember that I can change the world (as Tony says) instantly, by simply letting go of my expectations of people, places and things and instead diving deep into the warm, wonderful world of gratitude. There are literally hundreds of things I can be grateful for at any given time. By shifting my thoughts to them, and even taking it one step further by sharing those things I’m grateful for with others, I am magically transformed into a world of wonder and beauty, and suddenly ILML!

– JamieQ

Pen to Paper

“Some of us become too comfortable living with our familiar, unhealthy behaviors… our tendency to control… to let others control us… shutting down our emotions… yielding to them too easily… obsessing about our fears, or living in denial.” – Reaching for Personal Freedom 

Truth be told, I think most people aren’t even aware of most of their unhealthy behaviors. Before really working the program, I sure wasn’t. In order for this discovery to occur, we must first get into the habit of taking a regular inventory. This allows us to spot consistent patterns of thoughts and behaviors which take us away from serenity. When I put my pen to paper, I gain awareness, I begin to surrender the thoughts and behaviors which no longer serve me, I open the door for positive ones to flow through me, I start to feel really good again and then… ILML! 

Key to Happiness

“Sometimes… we may become convinced that things and people outside of ourselves hold the key to our happiness.” – The Language of Letting Go 

Addicts become obsessed with getting what they need to feel better. Alcohol, drugs, food, sex, money, recognition, validation, etc. We often believe that we can be happy if only… or that everything will be fine when… But deep inside we know it’s not true. Why? Because we’ve been there before. We said it before. And we got what we wanted before. And the happiness was fleeting at best. But I’ve found something that makes me happy right this moment. And it’s the kind of long-lived happiness I’ve always desired. And it’s not dependent on any person behaving a certain way, me getting something I’m waiting for, or any situation turning out the way I’d like it to be. By simply having, and working, a daily rigorous program of action made up of simply tasks that focus me on gratitude, love and kindness, I can be happy immediately, no matter what. Simply put, when I make it a priority to do the daily deal, ILML!  

– JamieQ