“I am no longer a victim, full of self-pity and bent on control of every aspect of my life. Today I can take myself and my circumstances more lightly. I can even allow joy and laughter to be a part of a difficult experiences. – Courage to Change
Change and transitions can often be uncomfortable and scary for me.but today I trust that my HP will open doors for me that will provide experiences beyond my wildest dreams. As I surrender disappointment from unmet expectations, gratitude flows in, and suddenly… ILML!
I m also dying to feel the way your blog says. How did you do that? I would be keen to engage in a conversation.
In response to your inquiry, I figured out how to love my life pretty much by doing everything suggested in the program. I have a consistent program of action. It starts the moment I wake up. I open my eyes, and then immediately consciously focus my attention on gratitude while slowly awakening. I’m grateful to not have drank or used drugs last night. I’m grateful I didn’t engage in any undesirable behavior for which I have to make amends. I’m grateful to be alive. For all those I have the opportunity to love, for all those who love me. I focus on one spot in the bedroom and do about 15 seconds of the half-smile, actively aware I’m changing my attitude by simply changing the muscles in my face. I roll out of bed, not touching the floor with the bottom of my feet, but onto my knees. I start expressing gratitude verbally, regardless of who may hear. I speak quietly if someone in the room is uncomfortable with my outward expression of gratitude. I make my words meaningful and relevant, rather than rote. I say out loud “I love my life” often shouting it out loud, not respectfully, but sharing my joy of loving my life, even if others don’t want to hear it. I make my bed very neatly, grateful that when I come into the room later, it will look nice. That’s respecting me, my things, and others that may come into the room. I clean myself thoroughly, taking joy in the warm water and soap, and my desire to present myself to the world fresh and gratefully born into the extra day of life I’ve been granted. I groom myself and dress as becomingly as possible. I grab my spiritual backpack, filled with my 12 step and other life affirming books and head to the local Starbucks. I grab some tea, hold it in my hands, do a little meditation of gratitude and then have my golden hour, in which I read, highlight, write some notes on the books, and look for a nice spiritual message to share on text to the 65 or so people that have requested it be sent to their phones each day. This is a great opportunity for 12 step work. I make sure that the text is not religious, and relevant to the 12 steps, as my list is of those in either AA or Alanon. I often get sweet responses back. This forms the foundation for my day and is one of the most important ways I can love my life, and be in love with it. I gain self-esteem by being of service to myself and others, consistently. I plan my meeting for the day, I reach out to others in the program and answer their calls and texts. I work at my job and do the best I can. I try to be patient, tolerant, loving and kind to everyone, including my kids, wife and family. I make amends when I make mistakes and slip in my behavior, and I forgive myself often, realizing I, too, and human. When I do these things consistently, and share my passion for doing them with others, and they share their passion for doing them too, we all get to love our lives together, even though we still experience the disappointment of unmet expectations, or the loss of things and people we were attached to. Somehow, all this work we do, keeps us in gratitude no matter what. That’s how I’m able to love my life.