“I will know peace when… I make spiritual wealth a priority… I am devoted to a spirit-filled, peace-filled life…” Until Today
My priorities prior to recovery were me, me and me. I wanted to be happy. The instant fix was drugs and alcohol. But I thought what I really needed was lots of money, shiny things, the perfect girl, my own house, and more. Between my feeling-number-outers and all that stuff, surely I would find happiness.
In early AA I still thought that getting all that “stuff” would solve all my problems, and getting it (along with staying sober) was still my primary purpose.
At 10 years of sobriety I had made the money, had the fancy car, the house, the girl and a wonderful little son. But I was hitting my first big emotional bottom in recovery, so I finally found a higher power and began a tentative relationship with God. However, my priorities were still materially based.
At 15 years of recovery, I hit my second emotional bottom and I knew I was whipped. Something had to change. That’s when I finally made it into the rooms of AlAnon. And that’s where I began to understand the concept of humility, putting the program and my service to others ahead of the “stuff”.
I discovered that the “stuff” was like a drug or drink, in that my satisfaction was short lived. But the program and service left me with a lasting feeling of self-esteem and happiness. The more time I spent communicating with my higher power on a really deep level, the more I trusted that everything is exactly as it should be, even when it didn’t go my way (sometimes especially when It didn’t).
Today, at 32 years in recovery, my priorities are to stay sober, work my program in all my affairs, and help others to the best of my ability. Putting these things first results in me being a pretty nice guy. The result of that is that I get along much better with others. My family life is great. I’m happy and successful in my work. And little by little abundance continues to flow into my life, in every area. I now find the world much less hostile, I have ceased fighting, and finally I’m at peace and ILML!