“Our present anxieties and troubles, we cry, are caused by the behavior of other people… if only they’d treat us better… our indignation is justified… We aren’t the guilty ones. They are!” 12&12 p.45-46
One thing I’ve come to realize is guaranteed for me is that, when I start blaming others, I’m unhappy. Does that excuse other’s behavior? Absolutely not. But their behavior is on them. How I handle it is on me. With the help of the program I have the option of pausing, gracing the space, taking a deep breath, inviting in God, saying how I feel in a kind way if appropriate, or if not, detaching from an unhealthy situation.
When I react (as I recently did with a loved one), I pay the price of an emotional hangover, depriving myself (and often them) of the ability to love life and celebrate all there is to be grateful for. I made amends quickly that time, but my goal is to avoid the behavior that necessitates amends.
At the same time I must remember that I’m human and on a spiritual journey – as such, it’s progress not perfection. Anger, resentment and self-pity snuff out all the good things in life. Today I’ll recommit to stay close to my higher power, love, because when I do that, ILML!