“To continue giving without receiving doesn’t prove anything except that you know how to be taken advantage of.” – Until Today
Who likes a one-sided relationship? Not me. Yet I’ve had many of them in the past. These days I practice having healthy boundaries to the best of my ability by (1) determining what is unacceptable behavior from others, (2) creating a plan of detachment if others repeatedly behave in an unacceptable manner, (3) letting others know what is unacceptable and how I will handle it if it becomes a pattern, and (4) follow through by acting on my plan of detachment if necessary. When I choose to honor and respect myself by setting healthy boundaries and following through on my plan of detachment when necessary, others begin to respect me, my relationships improve and ILML!
I need to copy down this plan! Major character defect of mine. No healthy boundaries! Yikes!
That’s why I attend Alanon weekly. I found a meeting that has about 50% pure AlAnons and 50% double winners (AA/Alonon). Wednesday night in Lahaina, Maui at 7pm if you ever get out here. AlAnon reminds me to be aware of my boundaries, let others know about them, and take necessary actions to detach when my boundaries are violated. Expecting others to honor my boundaries us pure insanity. They’ve been violating them forever. If I game any expectations they should be that they will keep violating them. That’s why I need to step away. It shows me that I love myself and let’s them know I won’t hang around when they behave in that manner.