“If I cause my problems, then I can do something about them. But as long as I think someone or something else has caused my problems, I remain a victim who has no control over my life.” – Reaching for Personal Freedom
This statement gives me the freedom to be happy — all the time. It’s true that I can’t stop others from saying and doing things that I don’t like, but I do have control as to how they affect me. By looking at my part, and I almost always have one, and making amends (no matter how big their wrongs) I can regain a tiny bit of control of the situation. By detaching from the situation, I make room for reflection in order to determine my future involvement with them, and whether or not I want to continue having one. If I’m not sure, I can reason it out with others who have healthy boundaries and relationships. When I take responsibility for my feelings, I stop blaming others, I’m no longer a victim and ILML!