No Winners in Blame

“I noticed that I had begun to be angry… I thought that other people and situations were to blame… the need to be right was robbing me of my serenity in all kinds of situations.” Courage to Change 

Just because they blame me doesn’t mean I’m to blame. And just because I think they’re wrong doesn’t make it so. When I’m right, your wrong and you feel bad. When you’re right, I’m wrong and I feel bad. There are no winners in the blame game. Instead, my goal is to allow those in my life to express their concerns with my behavior, acknowledge those concerns, and attempt to change the things I am doing that may be hurting our relationship. But they may not be in the same place as me. They may not be ready or willing to change, like I am – and that’s ok. It’s not my place to change them. Instead, I offer my concerns about their behavior only when asked OR if their behavior is so egregious that, unless it changes soon, I am leaving the relationship. This doesn’t make me a doormat. It makes me a person that works a great program and wants to be free of anger, because in doing so, ILML!  

– Jamie Q

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