“Victimhood gets its power from resentments…” – You Can’t Make Me Angry
I’m only a victim when I’m angry, and choose to hang onto it. Did you hear the last part of that sentence? Choose to hang onto it? That’s what differentiates anger from resentment, whether I hang onto it or not. I met a friend this morning that’s been hanging onto his frustrations, disappointments and anger towards his wife. Of course, I’m sure there are things she does and says that are upsetting. And there are various ways to deal with those: journaling, doing a 10th step, finding our part, making amends, forgiving and setting healthy boundaries. But when we don’t get into the solution and instead hang onto the hurt, it becomes resentment, we start living the role of victim, messing up our side of the street. That’s not fun. Being a victim is uncomfortable. When I refuse to play the victim, ILML!