Plugged into Source

“We can decide to let God participate in our life.” – In God’s Care 

When I first came into the 12 step rooms, I didn’t really believe in God, certainly not in a religious one. So in step 3, when it says “…turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him”, I had no idea how to do that. For years I struggled accepting the idea that there was a “God”. I wanted to believe, but the intellectual side of me knew better. How can one who wants to have a higher power believe in God if they are sure there isn’t one? Years later I finally figured it out: I just pretend. Some call this faking it until you make it. So I wrote down a list of what I would like my higher power to be like, if it were real. Then I committed to talking to this “pretend” God in the morning and at night. I chose to fully believe in, and turn my life and will over to, my pretend God. Sound silly? Well it felt silly. But today, my imaginary friend, my pretend God, is a giant part of my life, and honestly, I could care less if people judge me for having a God of my understanding, because it works for me. I am grateful that my loving God, which today is very real to me, has my back and reminds me that my purpose is to stay sober and be of maximum useful service to others. I talk to God all the time now, because when I’m plugged into source, and my will is aligned with God’s, ILML!

– JamieQ

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