James’ Messages

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Emotional Independence

“Emotional independence means deciding to have a good day no matter how others are feeling, no longer punishing others for past behavior or pouting, and not staying upset simply because the person we love is upset.”
– Adapted from You Can’t Make Me Angry p112-113

Wow, this is really tough for me and shines a light on my codependent habits. I’ve always wanted those I love to be happy, and often futilely try to “fix their feelings”. Whether I actually have a part in their hurt or anger, my attachment to their feelings should end with my amends. Afterwards I need only work my program to the best of my ability, in an attempt to be happy, joyous and free in each and every one of the remaining minutes, hours, days or years that I am blessed to be alive. Today I’ll care but not carry around their unhappiness. Instead I’ll focus on goodness, love and abundance so I can LML as much as possible! Have an epic day!

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The Boulder

“My Higher Power never makes mistakes”. – You Can’t Make Me Angry p.37

A boulder in my path can be an insurmountable obstacle that ruins my life – something I think about long after I’m forced to take a new path. Or it can be a great opportunity to enrich my life by broadening my horizons. Perhaps the new path takes me out of my comfort zone, but the rewards could be amazing, if my eyes are open to them. Today if life throws me a curve ball, I won’t duck – I’ll hit it out of the park! ILML – James

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Thank You

Thank you for another day, the chance to live, to feel, for happiness that comes from giving, for friends and peace and the morning sun. Thank you again God for another day.”- Adapted from 12 Step Prayer Book

This simple, beautiful message reminds me that just by virtue of being alive today I have been given the opportunity to celebrate so many wonderful things. I choose to focus on the abundance of blessings before me, instead of what my disease would tell me to think about (unmet expectations in me, my life and others around me). In turn, my life is epically amazing and I’m the luckiest man I know. ILML 🙂

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God-Centered Motives

“Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.” – Alcoholics Anonymous

When I’m having any struggles in my life, a good question to ask is “what are my motives in this situation”. Chances are I’m attempting to get something, keep something or have someone do or say things differently so that I feel better. When I can identify this, then ask how I can help others, I transform my selfish, self-centered motives into God-centered ones. The sunlight of the spirit enters, expelling the bondage of self. Once again, I get to be happy, joyous and free! ILML :))

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A Matter of Focus

“When we focus on abundance, our life feels abundant, when we focus on lack, our life feels lacking. It is purely a matter of focus.” – Attitudes of Gratitude

This is definitely one of the founding principles in our life loving club. What we focus on gets bigger. For me, the key is recognizing when I’m focused on the negative and finding something to be grateful for – the quicker the better. Lucky for me, a recovering alcoholic, the list of blessings I’ve been given is almost endless. ILML in cold, cold LA 🙂

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Heaven or Hell

“People usually consider walking on water or thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk on water or thin air, but to walk on earth” – The Miracle of Mindfulness

This reminds me of the saying that heaven is here on earth. But so is hell. I have experienced both. When I shift my perception to gratitude by using the tools of recovery, my life is miraculous. When I get lazy, or busy, or forgetful, or think I no longer need to invest time and energy into my spiritual rituals, I start to feel discontent once again. By making time to adjust my attitude each day, I get to fall back in love with my life, no matter what happened yesterday, or what may happen tomorrow! ILML!!!

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Humble Abundance

“Humility for us means staying our right size – and remembering we are as humble as we are grateful.” – Drop The Rock

I have always wanted to measure up. To be at least as good as, or better. Sometimes this pushes me to be my best, other times my ego takes over and I’m an butt-head. The difference in outcome depends whether or not I bring gratitude and God into my efforts. As long as I take the 2 G’s with me, I get “humble abundance”, and that’s the stuff life loving is made of. Love your life, ILMine!

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Waking Up… Spiritually

“My spiritual awakening continues to unfold… This is a better way to live.”

Wow how true is that. Being faith-filled and fear-free instead of fear-filled and faith free. Learning to live in gratitude and love, more and more each day rocks. And doing it with you is the bomb. Have a super-licious day! ILML!

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Focusing on Love

“Love is the most important word in the English language” -The 5 Love Languages

When I was a little boy our friends next door were Catholics and let me go with them to church. Our family was not religious. I asked my daddy once “what is God?”. He told me God is love, like how you feel when mommy holds you tight. In recovery, when choosing a higher power, love formed the basis of my belief. Always, but especially when I’m feeling sad, angry or frustrated, if I pause & focus, feel, think and act in Love/God, my life gets better. I do that a lot now, which I think, is one of the main reasons ILML!

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The Life Lovers’ Path

“Thought for the day: It takes courage to change.” – Hope for Today

Before recovery, when I had problems or was unhappy, I thought by getting someone or something to change, I could “fix” them or it and be happy. I put all my energy into it and stayed miserable. The secret is to put my energy into changing me and my attitudes through working my spiritual program of action. Ahhh, relief, finally. This easier softer way is the life lovers’ path!!! Enjoy each and ever second of today – insist on it – I sure will!!!