“.. we may face indecision… ask God for inspiration… relax and take it easy… don’t struggle.” AA page 86

A little more than 10 years after I got sober I found a personal higher power that I could relate to and develop a relationship with. Until that point, I didn’t have a God to depend upon for inspiration. I’m so grateful I surrendered my intellect long enough to open my heart to the concept of a God.

Today, whatever I’m struggling with, I have the option to cease fighting, let go and turn it over to my HP. What a gift – the easier softer way… ILML!

– JamieQ

“We tend to bond with one another over our complaints about our spouses… But why does it have to be that way? What if we were to broadcast all the ways our partner was wonderful?… great things would begin to happen.” – Attitudes of Gratitude in Love

I sent this to my wife today. She loved it. Our goal is to expand the goodness in our marriage, and do everything we can to make sure that we don’t sabotage our love.

The suggestion in the passage above is just one more way we can do exactly that. By talking to others about the great things my wife does for me, what a wonderful person she is, and how lucky I am that she chose me, I can manifest the exact type of relationship I want.

This is exactly why I love all the readings I do each day – they focus my mind on all the goodness that has been so generously shared with me by others. ILML!

– JamieQ

“… The choice is mine. When I sense that a situation is dangerous to my physical, mental, or spiritual well-being, I can put extra distance between myself and the situation… Detachment is a loving gift I continue to give to myself and others.” – Courage to Change

Wow. This is probably the best way I’ve heard detachment explained. It doesn’t matter if the danger comes from a situation, another person, or even the way I’m thinking or acting. If I’m aware it’s dangerous, then I detach and turn to my HP, I can stay out of trouble and be happier. Great advice and another way ILML!

– JamieQ

“In my experience, most of our anxieties and worries come from issues we do not have control over… the source of our inner peace – acceptance.” – TheMiracleForest.com

There’s a 3 step process I use which has eradicate almost all unhappiness in my life. When a problem comes up or I feel uncomfortable: (1) I say to myself “this will get resolved” (2) Then I take whatever action is in my power to resolve it, provided my actions are kind and loving (3) and finally I say “Here God, the rest I give to you”. I may still get upset from time to time, but I don’t really suffer much anymore.

Next time you feel uncomfortable or have a problem give it a try. Pretty soon, like me, you’ll be telling everyone, ILML!

– JamieQ

“… when the applause of others becomes the reason for my behavior and necessary for me to feel satisfied, then I have given them power over me.” – Courage to Change

Wanting others to like me is normal. I don’t find anything wrong with this desire. But sacrificing what’s important to me, pretending to be ok in situations that are not ok, in order to fit in or gain approval, that doesn’t work for me anymore.

Today I have values and live by them. When uncomfortable I say what I mean, mean what I say, and try to say it nicely. I set healthy boundaries and take action when those boundaries are not respected. I love and honor others but not at the expense of loving and honoring me.

And thanks to this program, and me working it, ILML!

– JamieQ

“… the problem… had seemed so enormous while it stayed trapped in my head.” – Courage to Change

When I look back on my life, both before and in recovery, I see that I’ve often kept a few problem thoughts in my head much longer than needed. I’d think things like “what should I do about their behavior?” Or “I can’t stand this thing”, over and over and over. So what’s the solution? The action that works best for me to eradicate the stinking thinking is to consciously ask for God’s help and then place it into his figurative hands. By doing so (sometimes repeatedly), I finally get some relief, the obsessive thoughts go away for at least a little while, peace flows in and, once again, ILML!

– JamieQ

“… slow me down. Ease the pounding of my heart… Break the tension… Teach me how to take minute vacations by slowing down to look at a flower or a cloud, to chat with a friend, to pat a dog, to read a few lines from a good book.” – 12 Step Prayer Book

If things start getting out of hand and I begin to feel stressed, upset or disconnected, I’ll remember to slow down, breath and find a way to get into the moment by appreciating the simple things around me. By slipping back into gratitude, I’ll be reminded how lucky I am, and how much ILML!

– JamieQ

“… often ask ourselves, “Am I doing to others as I would have them do to me—today?” 12&12p93

When I feel victimized, and I react in a mean way, I become the very thing I detest: the victimizer.

In order to avoid becoming that guy, I pray, meditate, get good sleep, work my program, eat well, exercise, get to meetings, handle responsibilities and make sure I have play time. Then, when I am triggered, I can say what I mean nicely, detaching when necessary, without being abusive.

This new approach to my unmet expectations of others keeps me close to my HP, where ILML!

– JamieQ