“Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” – AA Big Book

I’m a rebel – and an editor by trade. I’ve always felt that the language in step two could be improved. So get ready. Are you sitting down? Here is my suggestion for the new, improved wording of step two: 

“Came to believe that connecting to our higher power could restore our peace of mind.” 

Of course, I can’t rewrite the step to my own liking, but I can take what I like and leave the rest. Today by working step two and tapping into my higher power, I’ll get peace of mind and ILML! 

JamieQ

Seek balance… Whenever possible, let’s be good to others, but be good to ourselves too.” – The Language of Letting Go

Wouldn’t it be great if we could make everyone happy. If we could easily give them all they wanted, say everything they want to hear, and do all that they ask. They would always be pleased with us, think highly of us, and get along perfectly with us. In the past this was my goal, and it was destroying my happiness. Each time I failed to deliver I got upset, either at them, myself or both of us. I now know it’s not my job to make others happy. If I focus on taking care of me, being good to myself, I can give all that I have leftover – a better version of me – to be of service to them. Today I’m a bit more selfish. Like the oxygen mask on the plane, me first, then them. Actually, when I do that, we all end up happier and ILML! 

– JamieQ

“How do you win the game of life? When the goal is to play it with love you cannot lose. God is the coach and has a consistent winning streak – so trust him.” – Adapted from Until Today

I used to think it was all about accomplishment. Don’t get me wrong, it feels great to be productive, put my mind to something, work hard, accomplish it, and feel success. But those are short lived victories compared to the long lasting happiness I receive from living as a consistently kind, compassionate, loving person who gives freely of myself. I spend a great deal of time spiritually strengthening myself each day so that I may love myself and share that love and gratitude with others. By making this a priority and investing time each morning in being happy, joyous and free, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Our Higher Power needs us as emissaries of love in the world.” – In God’s Care

This page says we all need to know we’re truly loved. I believe this and know that it’s true for me. Before program I tried, and often failed, to get that from others. The program gave me the gift of learning how to give it first to others, and as the love traveled from my heart into theirs —  whether it be to a friend, lover or stranger —  I actually feel loved myself. The love I wanted from others became secondary as I’ve learned that by giving, I receive more than I could have ever imagined. ILML! 

– JamieQ

“… the more we give what we want to receive, the more we increase the chances we’ll get what we want.” – Attitudes of Gratitude in Love 

In a relationship it’s easy for me to see what I wish the other person would give me. “If only they would —–, our relationship would be great.” What this passage suggests is perhaps I should make that list, then start giving those things to them. For me it’s things like respect, kindness, love, consideration, words of appreciation and help when it’s requested or appropriate. When I step up my game and give more of these things to them, I feel happier and my relationship gets better too. And if it doesn’t, that’s another type of gift – a message that maybe it’s time for a change. Up early today, excited about opportunities and ILML! 

– JamieQ

“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”- Abraham Lincoln

Perception is way more important than reality. Reality can’t change, it is what it is. But a shift in perception can change how I perceive reality – as well as how I feel about it. In the olden days, when confronted by an unacceptable and unchangeable thing, I would think, “There’s nothing I can do about this, I’m just screwed.” Today I know better. There is one very effective action I can take when I’m in uncomfortable situations which I’m powerless over: I can alter my perception. By using the tools I’ve learned in the program I can magically, almost instantly, change things from bad to good, and by doing so, ILML!

– JamieQ

“If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.” – New Jersey Transit Authority Sign

I often talk about the two inner voices that constantly speak to me. One voice is higher powered voice and the other is lower powered. Recognizing which one is speaking to me is of fundamental importance in my quest for loving life. Today if I hear any static from the talk radio channel in my head called KCRAP, I’ll change the dial and tune into the sweet words of KLML, the station where ILML! 

– JamieQ

“I just have to ask whether acceptance—or change—is required.” – Daily Reflections

According to Wikipedia, the most common versionof the serenity prayer is the one we say at meetings, but the most well-known for

‘God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.’

The changes to the one commonly heard in 12 step meetings are subtle, but important to me.

First I noticed that in this version I’m asking for grace, which according to my mobile dictionary is ‘a disposition to kindness and compassion’. So I’m asking to be kind and compassionate to myself rather than frustrated, angry or in self-pity over something I can’t change. 

Next, I noticed that, in this version, I’m not asking to change the things I can. I’ve always thought that line was odd in that there are lots of things I can change but perhaps shouldn’t (like leaving my job, punishing someone, or picking up to numb myself out). Here it makes better sense by having me ask for courage to change only those things which should be changed. I like that better. 

The final part means about the same thing, and is what the quote from Daiky Reflections refer to. But now, with this clearer understanding of what I cannot change versus what should be changed, I’m better prepared to ask for, and receive, direction which best serves my goal of being happy, joyous and free. 

Grateful that I’m always willing to learn and grow so that ILML! 

Jamie Q

PS- Intersting fact: Martin Luther King invited Niebuhr to participate in the third Selma to Montgomery March in 1965, and Niebuhr responded by telegram: 

“Only a severe stroke prevents me from accepting … I hope there will be a massive demonstration of all the citizens with conscience in favor of the elemental human rights of voting and freedom of assembly.“

“Tolerance… is the bigness that enables me to let people be happy in their own way instead of my way.” – 12 Step Prayer Book

We all have fun in different ways. I like to surf, skate, be productive, work, do my rituals, sleep in ice-cold air conditioning, fellowship with others in the program, hike, exercise and spend time with my family. Some of these my wife enjoys, but many she doesn’t. Likewise, my wife enjoys many things that I don’t like. I used to try to get her to like the fun things I thought were great and let go of those I judged as not so great. The truth is I love that she is different — if she was exactly like me our relationship would be boring. A slight shift in my perception can bring in a flow of gratitude, put a smile on my face and remind me that ILML!

– JamieQ

“A moment’s pause to let our Higher Power guide us will help us decide the best response for each situation.” – In God’s Care
This reading talked about responding honestly in accordance to our “inner wisdom.” Our program mentions how important it is to be rigorously honest, but I choose to believe that they are referring to being honest in all our affairs with ourself and our sponsor. Sometimes it’s appropriate to honestly disclose things to others, sometimes it’s not. Honesty is the best policy – I just have to make sure I’m sharing my truth with the right person. Today I’ll pause and ask for inner wisdom before speaking my mind. Doing so may save me a lot of grief, keeping me in that sweet spot where ILML! 
– JamieQ