“Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery.” AA Big Book

I could add that it’s also one of the greatest joys in life. One result of filling myself up with the program every day is that I’m better prepared to handle the moments when life (or a person) doesn’t adhere to my plans. Another is that I’m more faith-filled and fear-free. But perhaps the greatest reward of all is that I’m better prepared to share the solutions and rewards of recovery. I’m so very lucky to have found and embraced the program. It’s given me the ability to share my life with you. ILML!

– JamieQ

“Release me from wanting to control everyone’s affairs… Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally it is possible that I may be mistaken… With my vast store of wisdom, it seems a pity not to use it all…” 12 Step Prayer Book

How often I’ve felt that I do know better, I really am right, and I can’t help being so smart. But surrendering control of others is the path to peace with them. Admitting my wrongs gets my ego right-sized. Resigning from the debating committee makes life so much easier. Today I’ll listen to others and offer my opinions only if asked. It’s the day after Thanksgiving and ILML!

– JamieQ

“It is hard to appreciate what is, when we are holding certain expectations of what should be…” Attitudes of Gratitude in Love

This is why making gratitude lists – and sharing them with others – is so vital for me. It puts my focus on all the gifts I currently have in my life, how truly blessed I already am. I wake up each morning, and the first thing I think is, “I’m alive again, how lucky.” Then I think “I’m sober and didn’t create chaos last night, awesome.” Then all the other great stuff starts seeping into my consciousness (health, home, wife, kids, work, etc). When I focus on gratitude, unmet expectations are less likely to be so important. ILML!

-JamieQ

“… yesterday is but a dream and tomorrow is only a vision… (but) today well-lived, makes yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope.” Kalidasa 12 Step Prayer Book

So how do I “well-live” each day? Easy. I operate from a place of love. What does that mean? Simple.

Before acting or speaking I ask myself if what I am about to do or say is respectful towards others. If not, I stop myself before I create damage. The truth is that I know what’s right, kind and loving – we all do.

The days when I’m spiritually fit enough to be loving in all my affairs are the ones in which I create happy yesterdays and hope-filled tomorrows. ILML!

“I can let go of the parts of my life that are not under my control and I can take charge of the parts that are”. Courage to Change

This reading helps me remember that whenever I find myself struggling (frustrated, angry, confused, or depressed about something), I can simply ask myself:

“Is this something I have control over?”

If the answer is yes, then I can write out the ways in which I can affect the situation. Then I can share these with my sponsor and, if any of them appear to be helpful, I can follow up with action.

Alternatively, if I discover that I have no control over the person or situation, or the options of actions I can take seem unwise at the moment (based on the conversation with my sponsor), then I can just look up and say:

“Oh well God, this one’s in your court. I trust you to take care of this in your own time. Meanwhile I’ll go out there and take some actions that will help me continue loving this life you’ve given me. ”

– JamieQ

“Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings … But we saw that it really worked…” Big Book

My ego fights against taking these actions because doing so uncovers my wrongs, showing me I’m not nearly as perfect as I often think I am. This is my path back to being right-sized or humble. People really don’t like me when I am arrogant, righteous or act like I know it all. Working the program daily aids me in being a kind person that others like and respect. A loving dad, husband, brother, son, employer, friend. These are what I aspire towards. ILML!

– JamieQ

“When someone says something to me and I have a strong reaction… I stop and visualize two doors. One is marked… “My will.” The other… “God’s will.” I imagine opening mine… (and seeing the consequences). Then I close my door and open God’s.” – Hope For Today

Sometimes I still choose and hang out in the ‘My Will’ room, and the results are always the same – I end up less happy than hanging out with my HP. The great news is that I have a God room in my house today, and I hang out there quite often. Choosing to go in when I’m feeling reactive is not easy, but the more consistently I practice my program, the easier it gets. ILML!

– JamieQ

“Our desires for emotional security and wealth… Cannot be the sole end aim of our lives… place spiritual growth first…” 12&12 p114

The desire for money, romance, and other things was rooted in my belief that having those things would for sure make me happy. But I had it backwards. These days I make getting spiritually centered my priority, and I instantly feel more fulfilled and at peace, which is attractive to others, both in business and relationships. I no longer need to wait until I get what I want to be happy, I’m happy regardless, because I took the time to plug into source. If I get some of that other stuff today, awesome. If not, that’s cool too because I put the horse before the cart and, as a result, ILML!

“Staying focused on my journey of recovery, plus turning the outside world over to God, equals … Inviting serenity’s peace to embrace me.” Hope For Today

My old behavior, when confronted with difficult situations involving others, was to express my feelings and thoughts – in other words, take a step forward into their tornado. It’s no wonder finding peace was challenging. My program suggests things like pausing when agitated, meditating, and not giving unsolicited advice or opinions. When I choose the path of least resistance, I am choosing a life of happiness rather than chaos. Today I will not insert myself into the drama, and by refraining from doing so, I’ll reminded myself that ILML!