“I have often tried to change other people to suit my own desires… this outlook put a strain on my relationships… knowing my own boundaries does not mean forcing others to change… the focus, today, is on me.” – Courage to Change pgs. 244 & 345

After over 30 years in recovery I still catch myself, not only wanting others to change to suit me, but attempting to get them to do so. I have 1000 justifications for asking them to change, many of them very reasonable. However, a better solution is to make requests (with zero expectation of change) to another when I feel their behavior feels uncomfortable. Then I can surrender the outcome to my HP and use my tools to get back into gratitude and love – regardless of the other person’s response to my request. That’s how I work my program when I’m in the solution. Today I’m in the solution, and because of that… ILML! – James