“… when you nail someone on their “stuff”, they’re going to get angry… wounded, they are going to attack you… all of your stuff is going to come up!” – Until Today
This ping pong of blame, self-pity and victimization can keep us in a perpetual state of hopelessness. It doesn’t matter if it starts with me blaming them, or them blaming me, all of it invokes needless suffering.
If I spot their defects and it’s not directly hurting me, I’m better off pausing & not giving my opinion. If it hurts, I’m best to simply say “that made me feel _____”, and then detach, moving onto activities that connect me with gratitude and love.
If they really love me, they’ll acknowledge my hurt (eventually), and if they don’t, I may need to assess, with my sponsor, whether it’s heathy to continue being around that person.
The program tools provide me with the opportunity to stay out dis-ease. And when I practice them, ILML!