“Keeping it simple helps me say great phrases like “I need some time to think about that” and… “I’m not sure” or “I don’t know the answer…” – Hope For Today
Being the person that’s always right and always knows the answer is a thankless job. My need to be right comes from my desire not to be wrong. But the truth is, often times, I don’t know the answer. On top of that, if I’m right, they’re wrong, and that makes it not fun for them to be around me. Saying “You may be right!” works so much better for me because it allows me to be truthful, hear others’ opinions, be open minded and have healthier relationships. By recognizing that I may not have the answer, and letting others know it, I’m free of self-centeredness and ILML!
I was just dealing with a situation that put me in the middle of an argument amongst an AA Home group. Because I am DCM of the district that this home group resides in. It was a discussion about a group conscious vote and it was a break in tradition 6. Donating to an entity outside of AA. I can not be the AA police and even though I believed that the group conscious vote was wrong and I sided with the tradition thumpers… I had to allow them to both be right and fallow the group to has this out amongst themselves. I just armed them with all the facts as they are laid out in the traditions and they took it from there.
Thanks for this blog post… I at first came into the above discussion with wanting to be right… I had to drop my ego and listen to all sides and not interject my opinion. I hope this post makes sense??
Thanks for letting me share.
It does make sense. Only a few weeks ago I was involved in a similar situation with one of my home groups. Although no one suggested actions that could be interpreted as violating a tradition, it became very heated, with bleeding deacons, elder statesmen and everything in between. I was asked to be the moderator and run the business meetings that had suggestions for changing almost everything in the meeting. I watched some who voted and lost leave in the middle of the meeting, very upset. I understand their feelings. Wanting to be right, truly believing we are right, can really take away our serenity. Instead, I remember Tradition 2: For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority – a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Plus, I’m lucky that there are lots of meetings in my area. If I’m unhappy at one, I’ll head over to another. Often I’ve done just that. In one case, a year later I went back to a meeting I had left and they had changed everything back to the original format, and I started attending it again.