“Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate.” – AA p.62

“It’s amazing how often I’ve stepped on the toes of my fellows, and then declared loudly “But they stepped on my toes first!” On page 61 of the Big Book it says “Admitting he may be somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame.” That sounds like most of us. We may have done something small wrong, but — boy oh boy — let me they’ll you what THEY did! Here’s the bottom line. Blaming=Hopelessness. When I blame, they are wrong, I can’t control them, ergo I’m a victim and am justified in feeling hurt. Epic. Just how I want to feel… NOT! When I man up, find my “tiny” part, resolve to do better, and apologize (the hard part), I take back my power, am immediately realeased from the prison of victimhood, hope and happiness flood in and, of course, once again… ILML! 

— JamieQ

2 thoughts on “Blaming=Hopelessness

  1. Absolutely on spot with this one. I am a fallen pastor and disappointed many people. I allowed myself to overwork and lacked the skillsets in self-care that created a mess of instinctual drives and choices by proxy that ruined my church life, businesses, marriage closeness, and family life for a season. What resulted was an introspect of tantamount changes I had to and have to make that cost…costed me much. The end of which has not completed its cycle in learning yet–for it sometimes takes years for the dust to settle and find peace with cataclysmic errors we make


    • So true Glenn. I believe there are experiences and lessons for us to go through in life, and though many are painful, and often it’s difficult to see the point of them, as long as I’m able to see the opportunity in the obstacle, and use it as a way to connect more fully to my higher power, that most loving part of my consciousness, healing inevitable comes from walking through it. I evolve into a better, kinder and less selfish man, but one who also makes time to love myself and step away from toxic situations before they become detrimental or explosive. We are, together, on a wonderful path of growth. The more time we invest into aligning our will with that of our higher consciousness, the greater shifts of perspective and perceptions we’ll experience, and the more fully we will be able to love others, ourselves and life!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s