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I’m Aware it’s Dangerous

“… The choice is mine. When I sense that a situation is dangerous to my physical, mental, or spiritual well-being, I can put extra distance between myself and the situation… Detachment is a loving gift I continue to give to myself and others.” – Courage to Change

Wow. This is probably the best way I’ve heard detachment explained. It doesn’t matter if the danger comes from a situation, another person, or even the way I’m thinking or acting. If I’m aware it’s dangerous, then I detach and turn to my HP, I can stay out of trouble and be happier. Great advice and another way ILML!

– JamieQ

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A 3 Step Process

“In my experience, most of our anxieties and worries come from issues we do not have control over… the source of our inner peace – acceptance.” – TheMiracleForest.com

There’s a 3 step process I use which has eradicate almost all unhappiness in my life. When a problem comes up or I feel uncomfortable: (1) I say to myself “this will get resolved” (2) Then I take whatever action is in my power to resolve it, provided my actions are kind and loving (3) and finally I say “Here God, the rest I give to you”. I may still get upset from time to time, but I don’t really suffer much anymore.

Next time you feel uncomfortable or have a problem give it a try. Pretty soon, like me, you’ll be telling everyone, ILML!

– JamieQ

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Loving and Honoring Me

“… when the applause of others becomes the reason for my behavior and necessary for me to feel satisfied, then I have given them power over me.” – Courage to Change

Wanting others to like me is normal. I don’t find anything wrong with this desire. But sacrificing what’s important to me, pretending to be ok in situations that are not ok, in order to fit in or gain approval, that doesn’t work for me anymore.

Today I have values and live by them. When uncomfortable I say what I mean, mean what I say, and try to say it nicely. I set healthy boundaries and take action when those boundaries are not respected. I love and honor others but not at the expense of loving and honoring me.

And thanks to this program, and me working it, ILML!

– JamieQ

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In the Solution

“Attempting half measures to eliminate my character defects merely paralyzes my efforts to change. It is only when I ask God for help, with complete abandon, that I become willing – and able – to change.”
– Daily Reflections 1/7/15

This is a good reminder to do my spiritual work and stay on top of my program on a daily basis. I can easily fall into “half measures” thinking I will still progress little by little. The reality is I don’t progress but “paralyze” changing for the better. Today I’m staying in the solution and connecting to my higher power. ILML!

– JasonW

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I Need to Let it Go

“We will face our powerlessness today in ways we cannot fully anticipate. When we are honest with ourselves and face it directly, we can take the risk of letting go. Let me not be so tied to what I have or to what I want that I cannot lean on God’s love and take a risk for growth.”
– Touchstones 1/7/15

I like how this tells me that no matter how much I want something, how badly I seek it, that what I need to do is realize that I need to let it go. if it is meant to be it will happen, I just have to take the next indicated actions and give the rest to God. When I live by this principle I have less worry and anxiety. I have more serenity and inevitably achieve much more than I would otherwise. My life is full from letting go to God. There is something that I really want right now but I’m going to let it go, give it to God, and be at peace. ILML!

– JasonW

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Trapped in my Head

“… the problem… had seemed so enormous while it stayed trapped in my head.” – Courage to Change

When I look back on my life, both before and in recovery, I see that I’ve often kept a few problem thoughts in my head much longer than needed. I’d think things like “what should I do about their behavior?” Or “I can’t stand this thing”, over and over and over. So what’s the solution? The action that works best for me to eradicate the stinking thinking is to consciously ask for God’s help and then place it into his figurative hands. By doing so (sometimes repeatedly), I finally get some relief, the obsessive thoughts go away for at least a little while, peace flows in and, once again, ILML!

– JamieQ

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Remember to Slow Down

“… slow me down. Ease the pounding of my heart… Break the tension… Teach me how to take minute vacations by slowing down to look at a flower or a cloud, to chat with a friend, to pat a dog, to read a few lines from a good book.” – 12 Step Prayer Book

If things start getting out of hand and I begin to feel stressed, upset or disconnected, I’ll remember to slow down, breath and find a way to get into the moment by appreciating the simple things around me. By slipping back into gratitude, I’ll be reminded how lucky I am, and how much ILML!

– JamieQ

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Victim, Victimizer or Life Lover

“… often ask ourselves, “Am I doing to others as I would have them do to me—today?” 12&12p93

When I feel victimized, and I react in a mean way, I become the very thing I detest: the victimizer.

In order to avoid becoming that guy, I pray, meditate, get good sleep, work my program, eat well, exercise, get to meetings, handle responsibilities and make sure I have play time. Then, when I am triggered, I can say what I mean nicely, detaching when necessary, without being abusive.

This new approach to my unmet expectations of others keeps me close to my HP, where ILML!

– JamieQ

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An Amazing Ride

“A spiritual plan is a statement of clear intention about what you desire to experience within yourself and a clear definition of what you must do to make it happen.” – Until Today

New Years is a great time to do a written spiritual plan. Today I’ll take a half hour and list my spiritual, emotional, health, financial and philanthropic desires and my ideas how to achieve them. Then I can do the footwork and let go of the results. If it’s anything like my life has turned out, the results will continue to be beyond my wildest dreams. What an amazing ride – ILML!

– JamieQ

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Celebrate This Success

“Now that the year is at an end, I’ll take a few minutes to contemplate the progress I’ve made, thank my Higher Power for my growth..Celebrate my achievements”. – Courage to Change

In step 10 of the 12&12 it says “It’s a poor day indeed when we haven’t done something right”.
If I’m working on improving myself, then celebrating my achievements is not gloating. It’s healthy. Today I’ll make a list of all that I have achieved and been given in 2015. I’ll celebrate this success by continuing to do what gave me all these gifts – I’ll work my program, be of service and stay connected to my HP. Happy New Year! ILML!

– JamieQ

2014 List of Gifts & Achievements

Renewed our Marriage Vows.
My son got into UC Santa Cruz.
My daughter got into Babson College.
Gave up grain & got super fit.
My shoulder surgery was a success.
Made 32 years of sobriety.
All of my sponsees stayed sober.
I bought a House in Maui.
My business is still very successful.
Christmas was amazing.
Still keeping program 1st in life.
I still have my amazing sponsor.
I’ve taken on no new resentments.
I’ve surrendered some old ones.
My relationship with God deepened.
I added about 20 new business clients.
I’ve begun meditating more often.
I renewed 12stepwork.com blogging.
My son graduated from UCSB.
My daughter moved closer to home.
I bought my son a drone.
I started earning money in new ways.
My dad got remarried. I love his wife.
I practiced often & improved on guitar.
I did a lot of nice things for my wife.
I walked through fear with lots of faith.
I took good care of me physically.
I took good care of me spiritually.
I took good care of me emotionally.
I took care of myself medically.
I went to 100+ AA & Alanon meetings.
I was charitable to unfortunate people.
I became so much more tolerant.
I decreased my frequency of blaming.
I signed up for less drama in my life.
I was of real value to others in life.
I learned to love myself a lot more.
My love for life increased even more.

– JamieQ