“Choose your thoughts carefully, keep what brings you peace, release what brings you suffering and know that happiness is just a thought away.” – Nishan Panwar

Simple concept and so true, although the secret is finding out how to do this quickly and then practicing it regularly until it becomes a habit. The first step for me is awareness. To become conscious of when I am suffering. This need not be big or dramatic, rather it can be as subtle as just feeling a little down or hurt. 

Once I become versed at practicing awareness, the next step is to discover what works to help me release me from my suffering thoughts. I use prayer (connecting with my HP), journaling out my thoughts and feelings, writing a gratitude list, meditating, making amends to myself and/or others if I’ve discovered the need to do so in my writing, calling my sponsor or another inspired person I trust to help me release my suffering, getting into service with others or just doing a selfless act like picking up some trash or cleaning something for someone else without being asked, exercising and getting to a meeting. I also use HALT as an acronym reminder to see whether I’m hungry, angry, lonely or tired and address any of those issues. 

Once I felt like I had some workable solutions to help me release the suffering, it was time for the hard part: action. Consistently taking those actions which represented my path to peace was the only way I could master the process, and allow myself to quickly transition out of thoughts that cause me suffering and into those that bring me peace and happiness. 

I’m pretty sure that having discovered, and continuing to use, this system to decrease my personal suffering is a big reason why ILML! 

— JamieQ

“When we allow ourselves to be broken open by life rather than broken down by it, we begin to be grateful for the difficulties themselves… When we live from this place long enough, we begin actually to inhabit gratitude, our every inhalation and exhalation a breath of thanksgiving no matter what is going on in the external world.” – Attitudes of Gratitude

Gratitude is the magic cure for all emotional sickness. The more secret ways we can find to get into gratitude when we are ill, the more consistently we will love our lives, and share that love of life with others.

This discovery has encouraged me to seek new ways of getting back into gratitude when I’m feeling uncomfortable. I’ve searched on the internet. I’ve asked happy people. I’ve read books about gratitude. I’ve shared what I know about gratitude with others. All of these methods have revealed more tools for me to use.

The truth is, difficulties in life are inevitable. Without them, there would be no comparison to recognize comfort, no opportunity for achievement, no growth. And although we can search for tools, none of them will work unless we practice them. So I’ve made peace with the idea that I will have struggles in life. But I’ve also learned to pick up the tools I’ve discovered, and continue trying to use them.

Ultimately, what that means for me is that my recovery time, from discomfort to life loving, is shortened. Less time feeling bad; more time feeling good. And that’s a wonderful thing for a guy like me.

In Orlando Florida at the ESPN Wide World of Sports Complex. ILML!

“Acceptance, or surrender, is not a tidy package… As we surrender we experience our frustration and anger… then… pain and sadness. Our fear and anxiety about the future are released when we (finally) surrender.” – The Language of Letting Go

This reading reminds me how much I like things in control – specifically my control. But when I plan, predict and expect a certain outcome (from a person, place or thing) that is comfortable for me, I set myself up for potential disappointment. Doing my best, then surrendering the results – before they are shown to me – is the best way for me to love life – no matter what. And today, I do LML! – James

“Nothing pays off like restraint of tongue and pen. We must avoid quick-tempered criticism and furious, power-driven argument. The same goes for sulking or silent scorn. These are emotional booby traps baited with pride and vengefulness. Our first job is to sidestep the traps. When we are tempted by the bait, we should train ourselves to step back and think. For we can neither think nor act to good purpose until the habit of self-restraint has become automatic.” — 12&12 p.91-92

This is, for me, perhaps one of the most important passages in the 12&12. Restraint of pen and tongue.

I was attending an AlAnon meeting in Malibu about 15 years ago when this very old woman, a longtime member, said “The best thing I ever learned in AlAnon was to keep my mouth shut. This has saved me from more pain and suffering than you can possibly imagine.”

A few years later I heard someone else in a meeting say “My sponsor told me that whenever my spouse starts saying something that upsets me, or something I disagree with, the best thing for me to say is ‘You may be right’. Saying this will remind me to let go and let God.

The program and members of the fellowship continually show me a new, better way to approach others. A way in which I can escape drama, frustration and hurt feelings. The simple tools I learn aren’t always so easy to remember or employ, but when I do, my life is tremendously more peaceful.

ILML – James