“I will know peace when… I make spiritual wealth a priority… I am devoted to a spirit-filled, peace-filled life…” Until Today

My priorities prior to recovery were me, me and me. I wanted to be happy. The instant fix was drugs and alcohol. But I thought what I really needed was lots of money, shiny things, the perfect girl, my own house, and more. Between my feeling-number-outers and all that stuff, surely I would find happiness.

In early AA I still thought that getting all that “stuff” would solve all my problems, and getting it (along with staying sober) was still my primary purpose.

At 10 years of sobriety I had made the money, had the fancy car, the house, the girl and a wonderful little son. But I was hitting my first big emotional bottom in recovery, so I finally found a higher power and began a tentative relationship with God. However, my priorities were still materially based.

At 15 years of recovery, I hit my second emotional bottom and I knew I was whipped. Something had to change. That’s when I finally made it into the rooms of AlAnon. And that’s where I began to understand the concept of humility, putting the program and my service to others ahead of the “stuff”.

I discovered that the “stuff” was like a drug or drink, in that my satisfaction was short lived. But the program and service left me with a lasting feeling of self-esteem and happiness. The more time I spent communicating with my higher power on a really deep level, the more I trusted that everything is exactly as it should be, even when it didn’t go my way (sometimes especially when It didn’t).

Today, at 32 years in recovery, my priorities are to stay sober, work my program in all my affairs, and help others to the best of my ability. Putting these things first results in me being a pretty nice guy. The result of that is that I get along much better with others. My family life is great. I’m happy and successful in my work. And little by little abundance continues to flow into my life, in every area. I now find the world much less hostile, I have ceased fighting, and finally I’m at peace and ILML!

– JamieQ

“(there is) no unhappiness too great to be overcome.” Big Book pg. 104

In recovery I’ve been broke, had my mom and baby brother pass away, my car repossessed, lost two homes, went through a divorce, and was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor. Sounds bad, right? It was.

Yet here I stand today happy as I’ve ever been. How? Because I leaned on my program, Higher Power and others in the rooms for help. I walked through the pain, sorrow and fear, then made it to the other side.

Today I know it works no matter what, and because of that I love the program and ILML!

– JamieQ

“There are times when we simply don’t know what to do… While waiting for direction… Do something fun… Clarity will come.” – The Language of Letting Go

I personally always like to have the answer (anyone who knows me well is probably laughing now). So the times when I don’t know what to do are usually frustrating and/or scary.

Letting it go, trusting the answer will come in time, and then getting busy enjoying life is the solution for me. It beats the heck out of staying in the problem when I have no solution.

Today I’m enjoying a sunny Sunday in Maui and ILML!

– JamieQ

“Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery.” AA Big Book

I could add that it’s also one of the greatest joys in life. One result of filling myself up with the program every day is that I’m better prepared to handle the moments when life (or a person) doesn’t adhere to my plans. Another is that I’m more faith-filled and fear-free. But perhaps the greatest reward of all is that I’m better prepared to share the solutions and rewards of recovery. I’m so very lucky to have found and embraced the program. It’s given me the ability to share my life with you. ILML!

– JamieQ

“Release me from wanting to control everyone’s affairs… Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally it is possible that I may be mistaken… With my vast store of wisdom, it seems a pity not to use it all…” 12 Step Prayer Book

How often I’ve felt that I do know better, I really am right, and I can’t help being so smart. But surrendering control of others is the path to peace with them. Admitting my wrongs gets my ego right-sized. Resigning from the debating committee makes life so much easier. Today I’ll listen to others and offer my opinions only if asked. It’s the day after Thanksgiving and ILML!

– JamieQ

“It is hard to appreciate what is, when we are holding certain expectations of what should be…” Attitudes of Gratitude in Love

This is why making gratitude lists – and sharing them with others – is so vital for me. It puts my focus on all the gifts I currently have in my life, how truly blessed I already am. I wake up each morning, and the first thing I think is, “I’m alive again, how lucky.” Then I think “I’m sober and didn’t create chaos last night, awesome.” Then all the other great stuff starts seeping into my consciousness (health, home, wife, kids, work, etc). When I focus on gratitude, unmet expectations are less likely to be so important. ILML!

-JamieQ

“… yesterday is but a dream and tomorrow is only a vision… (but) today well-lived, makes yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope.” Kalidasa 12 Step Prayer Book

So how do I “well-live” each day? Easy. I operate from a place of love. What does that mean? Simple.

Before acting or speaking I ask myself if what I am about to do or say is respectful towards others. If not, I stop myself before I create damage. The truth is that I know what’s right, kind and loving – we all do.

The days when I’m spiritually fit enough to be loving in all my affairs are the ones in which I create happy yesterdays and hope-filled tomorrows. ILML!

“I can let go of the parts of my life that are not under my control and I can take charge of the parts that are”. Courage to Change

This reading helps me remember that whenever I find myself struggling (frustrated, angry, confused, or depressed about something), I can simply ask myself:

“Is this something I have control over?”

If the answer is yes, then I can write out the ways in which I can affect the situation. Then I can share these with my sponsor and, if any of them appear to be helpful, I can follow up with action.

Alternatively, if I discover that I have no control over the person or situation, or the options of actions I can take seem unwise at the moment (based on the conversation with my sponsor), then I can just look up and say:

“Oh well God, this one’s in your court. I trust you to take care of this in your own time. Meanwhile I’ll go out there and take some actions that will help me continue loving this life you’ve given me. ”

– JamieQ