Amends puts out the Flames of my Resentments

Amends puts out the Flames of my Resentments

“I don’t regret the past, because I am turning my painful history into today’s blessings and strengths.” — From Survival to Recovery

I love the title of this book. It reminds me that I decide whether I want to live in survival, or recovery, mode. Recovery mode, to me, means that I am actively seeking to recover the fascination, joy and appreciation of life that I had when I was six months old. At that time, I didn’t experience self-pity, and I didn’t experience resentment, because I lived in the moment.

Because of the program, the trials and tribulations which I experienced growing up can now be put to great use. By practicing the steps, and with the guidance of my sponsor, I have learned to transform my hardships into stepping stones that others use to find their way out of the darkness. Imagine that?

But the gifts from my past don’t just benefit others. By examining the mistakes I’ve made, I’ve discovered that the sooner I find and take responsibility for my part, the sooner I get to stop feeling upset, because both self-pity and resentment disappear.

Wait! Did I just say that my resentments disappear when I make amends? Yes I did. How is that possible? By recognizing that I’m fallible, and admitting it, the door of forgiveness opens, allowing me to surrender my resentment of others for the mistake I perceive they have made (whether they can admit it or not). And it’s this forgiveness, that puts out the flames of my resentment.

So I make peace with my past, thanking it for the abundance of lessons I have learned, particularly from the mistakes I have made it. Because let’s face it, without my past, I wouldn’t be here today. And it’s exactly in this place, and in this moment, that… ILML!

— JamieQ