“… we had begun to get a basis for daily living…” – 12&12 p. 108

Our personal basis for daily living can be determined by asking ourselves “What’s the fundamental assumption, purpose and foundation upon which your life is built?” If you can’t easily answer this question, don’t feel bad. Most people can’t. I certainly had no idea how to answer it the first time I heard the question. It was only by doing the daily deal for the last 15 years that I came to understand what a basis for daily living means to me, and how to incorporate a set of actions that supports the values I hold dear into my life. I won’t kid you, the daily deal takes a lot of time and commitment, but the reward speaks for itself: a rich, wonderful life in which I not only love myself but ILML! 

“Getting to know God is the purpose.” – In God’s Care

Lucky for me, the program encouraged me to define my own higher power, because I used to always feel uncomfortable with the word “God”. So I decided to interpret the word “God” as “Good”. Yep, I just added an “o”. 

I believe in God = I believe in Good. 

Do God’s will = Do Good’s will. 

God I offer myself to thee = Good, I offer myself to thee. 

Since I’ve always preferred to feel good rather than bad, this works great for me! When I insist on staying close to Goodness all day long, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Remember, Bill, let’s not louse this thing up. Let’s keep it simple.” – Last words of Dr. Bob to Bill W. (co-founders of AA) on Bob’s deathbed

At 20 years sober I knew how to stay abstinent but I needed a specific list of actions I could take every day that would help me become a great man and love my life. So I started doing ‘The Daily Deal’. Upon awakening I smile, open my eyes and say ‘thank you’. In bed I meditate and then do 5 minutes of yoga. I roll out of bed, onto my knees and pray. I do my affirmations. I yell out ILML! I exercise and then make the bed. I shower, groom and dress nicely while I sing, and dance, and smile. I clean house. I grab my spiritual backpack, go to Starbucks, order a Chai Latte and journal, making amends if I realize I have hurt someone. I read from recovery books, send out a gratitude list, then a message of recovery to others. I yell out ILML in my car as I head to work to be self-supporting. I engage in hobbies like playing guitar. I get to meetings at least 3 or 4 times a week. I share intimacy with, and am unselfishly of service to, others in AA, my family and friends. I attempt to behave responsibly and be both accountable and trustworthy. Before bed, I take a bath. I read for pleasure. I thank my HP for another great day and then say aloud ILML! I get 8 hours of sleep. By having, and sticking to, a system of recovery that works for me, I keep it simple, evolve into a better man each day and ILML! 

– JamieQ

“The basis of our recovery program is compassion and love for one another. We are never as close to God as in our compassionate moments.” – In God’s Care

The understanding, compassion and acceptance for others of me (with all my flaws) is what encouraged me to stay in the program and become a much better man. I’m eternally grateful for that. It’s so easy to see what’s wrong in people and situations, but to be evolved enough to see the struggles and deficiencies of others and choose to feel compassion rather than resentment is what defines us as loving, wonderful people. In an hour I’ll be attending a memorial for a sponsee’s father in law and I hope that I can adequately display my sense of empathy, compassion and love for his wife and her family. As the 11th step prayer says so eloquently, make me a channel of peace. When I am completely unselfish, and truly there for others, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.” – Oprah

I started building strength the moment I struggled out from my mom’s body. Actually, even before then my body started struggling and strengthing itself inside her womb. And over the last 55 years I’ve been tried and tested in literally hundreds of thousands of ways, and each time I struggle to succeed. In the process I’ve become smarter, stronger and more adaptable to life. So instead of seeing struggle as a bummer, a hassle or something to be avoided, today I choose to see it as a gift. For when I view my struggles as opportunities to become stronger and healthier – an even greater man than I am today – I actually invite the struggles, and with that attitude ILML! 

– JamieQ

“We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past.” – Big Book p.75

Step 5 is our opportunity to step out of the darkness and into the light. It’s the beginning of the end of behavior that is really unbecoming to us. Once completed, we simply clean up any wreckage from our past (including yesterday) and start over again by acting in ways that reflect the person we aspire to be: loving, kind, helpful, compassionate, thoughtful,  unselfish, fun, easy going, non-critical, etc. We Uncover. We Discover. We Discard. When that becomes my daily plan for living, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, keep my voice low, be courteous, criticize not one bit. I won’t find fault with anything, nor try to improve or regulate anybody but myself.” – Just For Today

If you haven’t seen it, this little AlAnon pamphlet is an awesome list of suggestions to follow each day. Aside from above, they include living in this day only, staying out of fear, celebrating the beauty all around us, doing good deeds anonymously, not being so sensitive, adjusting ourselves to what is rather than trying to change it all to fit our desires, being happy no matter what, and taking a quiet half hour to ourselves to relax. I’ve never yet had a day where I was able to do them all perfectly, but the more I try and live my life according to their principles, the more ILML! 

– JamieQ

“I simply did not want to hurt like that again. My desire to avoid hitting bottom again was…. powerful…” – Daily Reflections

When I came into AA it was because I had hit a bottom of pitiful and incomprehensible despair. I couldn’t figure things out on my own, and I was willing to try just about anything, even walking into a room with strangers. Years later I hit another bottom and walked into the rooms of AlAnon, and kept coming back. Both programs have opened my awareness to the fact that I hit emotional bottoms all the time. Today I have a very well equipped toolkit filled with program-principled solutions to help me recovery my serenity quickly. I’ve found that whenever I use the tools of both programs to solve my problems, ILML!  

– JamieQ

“… defective relations with other human beings have nearly always been the immediate cause of our woes…” – 12&12 p.80

There have been times in my life when my woes were caused by being sick, struggling financially, or my car breaking down. Problems such as these tend to resolve themselves in a relatively short period of time, and aftwards I forget the problem ever happened. This is not so with personal relationships. The hurt others cause me, along with the hurt I have caused them, tends to live in my memory for days, weeks, months or even years, causing resentment, anger, guilt, and self-pity. The good news is that I’ve discovered a set of actions whereby those hurtful memories subside, returning me to peace, even when I think of those people. By doing the daily deal, I’m no longer their prisoner. I let go of them, the memory of the hurt and ILML! 

– JamieQ