“Anger, resentment and guilt is often the result of saying ‘Yes,” when we meant to say ‘No.’ Do I want to continue denying my own feelings just to gain the approval of others? Or am I fed up with volunteering to be a doormat?” – Adapted from Courage to Change
Sometimes I do things I don’t feel like doing because it’s my responsibility or I’m willing to help others who have helped me. That’s ok. But sometimes I do things I don’t want to do, which I shouldn’t be doing. By doing so, I am volunteering to be their doormat. In these situations, the only way to develop self-respect, and the respect of others, is to ‘Just Say No.’ They will be unhappy. But they’ll also learn that I am strong, independent and healthy. AlAnon has helped me discovery my own boundaries and let others know how I will handle myself I they choose not to honor them. Being true to myself is one more way that ILML!
So hard to say no when they expect you to say yes…because you’ve been doing it for so long
Yes. Disappointing them is not easy. Essentially we discovering and sharing with them what are our healthy boundaries are. Everyone wins in the end!