“I no longer do things for others that they can do for themselves.”- Adapted from Courage to Change
When helping someone else deprives them of the opportunity to learn, grow and experience that wonderful feeling of accomplishment, I’m not really helping, I’m hurting. I’ve learned that acting in this way, with my kids and other people, makes them dependent upon me, and ultimately we’ll both end up resenting each other. Instead, in situations where it’s evident that they should learn to take responsibility for themselves, no matter how much I want to come to their rescue, I allow them the dignity to step up for themselves – even if they’re pleading with me to help. When I have the strength to restrain myself from helping others in areas where they can help themselves, I give them the gift of self-esteem and ILML!