“I am… a victim of my expectations… When I expect others to be what I want them to be and not who they are, when they fail to meet my expectations, I am hurt.” – Daily Reflections
Oftentimes I find myself hoping that someone else will live up to their full potential and be the person I want and know they can be, only to find myself disappointed, again and again. This usually happens when I’m so emotionally involved that I fail to see reality, which is that they’re simply not there yet. All the hoping, wishing, praying, encouraging, pouting and threatening won’t get them there either — instead it just sets me up for frustration, disappointment and anger. The good news is that, with the help of the program and others in it, I’m learning to assess situations more clearly and detach as needed. As our program says “lack of power is my dilemma”. So instead of hoping, expecting and waiting for them to change so both of us can be happier, by simply accepting them for who they are, and focusing on taking care of myself, ILML!
– JamieQ
12 Step Work 
Wonderful thought. Amazing how we create our own demise through expectations.
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So true. In talking with a sponsee today, he told me that his intention was to speak with his wife about some of his relationship expectations. In response, I said “that’s about the most destructive thing you can do your relationship.” He explained that he was simply attempting to create more intimacy by explaining that his expectations of her might be unrealistic. I I explained that she’ll end up feeling blamed got upset, basically pushing her away. I then told him that if he really wanted to create more intimacy, he should book a couples massage followed by a nice dinner out and finally present with a sweet little gift wrapped in nice paper, with a beautiful card. Expectations live in the future. Resentments in the past. When we focus on today and the gift of this moment we have a much better shot at loving our life!
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