Author: JamesQ

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Impervious to Dis-ease

“… when we harbored grudges… we were really beating ourselves with the club of anger…” – AA p.47

Nelson Mandela said “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” Buddha said “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Getting upset is not the problem – holding onto it is what creates our misery. So why is it so hard to let go? Because we get infected, just like a virus. If our spiritual immunity system is not at its peak, when others spew out their spiritual sickness, we drop down to their level and get sick too. The solution for me is to be consistent in my spiritual devotions so that I’m filled with so much gratitude and love that I’m impervious to dis-ease. Today I’m feeling  spiritually fit and ILML! 

– JamieQ

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I Am Loved

“Let go and let God, first things first, easy does it – do but do it, let it begin with me, I’d rather be happy than right… grant me the serenity to live by our sayings.” – In God’s Care

When things are going smooth, when I’m rested, spiritually and physically fit, when I’ve eaten well and everything’s going my way, it’s easy to live by these sayings. It’s those other times that it’s more challenging. When I can’t fix a problem. When I’m overwhelmed. When someone is wronging me. These are the times I need to remember the words I hear so often in our program. Pausing gives me the opportunity to remember them. Today, if I’m not “feeling it”, I’ll slow down, take a few breaths, and remember how truly great my life is and that I am loved. ILML!  

– JamieQ

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A Vortex of Self-pity

“When things appear to be falling apart, a chattering imp will find its way into your head… If you listen to the imp, you will eventually be convinced that there is a fire breathing dragon waiting at every turn to devour you.” – Until Today

Anything that happens which I don’t like, takes me out of my comfort zone and puts me in dis-ease. That’s the moment that Impy starts chattering in my brain. He points out how bad it is, how bad it’s been, how bad it’s going to be. He sends me down a vortex of self-pity and resentment and shuts me off from all the goodness in my life. What’s the solution? Stop. Breathe. Make a gratitude list. Meditate. Connect with source. Call an optimistic friend. And most importantly, don’t react. Forget the problem for a minute. The answers will come. Things will get better if I simply work my program and take one step at a time. When I’m in the solution, ILML! 

– JamieQ

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Possibilities Emerge

“Life doesn’t always go smoothly or peacefully, even though I might wish it would…. (but) when I face adversity and deal with my problems… every problem can help me to change for the better, deepen my faith, and add to my self-esteem. – Courage to Change 

No matter what happens in my life, once I’m willing to get into the solution, do the footwork, and practice the principles, things always get better. My attitude and perception shifts and possibilities for acceptance and change begin to emerge. Before I know it, I’m feeling grateful. And when I’m back in gratitude, ILML! 

– JamieQ

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Simple as That

“… letting go of our need to control… not setting ourselves up to be victims… setting healthy boundaries… (these are the tools) that help us improve the quality of all our relationships.” – The Language of Letting Go 

I think we all want to get along better with others. The problem for me was that, in order to do so, I wanted everyone else to change. If only they changed, we’d be happy. It’s true that, to some extent, both parties need to adapt and change in order to keep a relationship healthy. But I’m successful in my relationships today because I stopped expecting, hoping and trying to make them change. Instead, I learned that I can create the initial change by practicing program principles in my relationships. Once I am exhibiting healthy behaviors, they have the option to reciprocate… or not. If they do, I’ll stay in the relationship. In not, I’ll leave. Simple as that. When I work my program and set healthy boundaries, my relationships are awesome and ILML! 

– JamieQ

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Plan of Detachment

“To continue giving without receiving doesn’t prove anything except that you know how to be taken advantage of.” – Until Today

Who likes a one-sided relationship? Not me. Yet I’ve had many of them in the past. These days I practice having healthy boundaries to the best of my ability by (1) determining what is unacceptable behavior from others, (2) creating a plan of detachment if others repeatedly behave in an unacceptable manner, (3) letting others know what is unacceptable and how I will handle it if it becomes a pattern, and (4) follow through by acting on my plan of detachment if necessary. When I choose to honor and respect myself by setting healthy boundaries and following through on my plan of detachment when necessary, others begin to respect me, my relationships improve and ILML! 

– JamieQ

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Why the 4th Step Rocks

“What benefits do I gain by completing a Step Four inventory?” – Reaching for Personal Freedom 

This was the question of the day for me when I opened my workbook at 7am. Here’s my answer: Doing a thorough 4th step cleared away the wreckage of the past and freed me from the bondage of myself so that I was able to finally let go of the hurt that I caused others and myself in the past. In doing so I made room in my heart, soul and mind to become a great man by letting go of that part of me which was significantly less than the great man I seek to continue becoming. Grateful for these simple yet powerful steps. ILML! 

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Strive for Balance

“You must enter every experience in life with with a sense of feel-full-ness!” – Michael Beckwith

I love this quote. I like to feel-full-ness everyday, and through the program I’m learning how to feel-fill myself in healthier ways. It used to be booze, drugs, rich food, money, etc. But I’ve learned that I sought out and handled those things in an addictive manner to feel-full, ultimately hurting me and those around me. And they never truly feel-fulled me. Today I seek a balance in those things that are good for me. I eat healthy food. I stretch and exercise regularly. I read books and listen to those that inspire me to be a better man. I take actions to seek out, and connect to, the source of love each day. When I strive for balance, ILML!  

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A Wonderful Opportunity

“Our answer is in still more spiritual development. Only by this means can we improve our chances for really happy and useful living.” – 12&12 p.114

This morning I was given a wonderful opportunity to be disappointed. Someone who had made a promise to me only last night, recanted. This caused me fear, which turned to anger, and before I knew it l, words flew out of my mouth that were very uncharacteristic of the spiritually evolved James. It’s only because I work this program so diligently, that less than one minute later I was able to make amends for my words. It doesn’t necessarily excuse me, but it makes me feel better that I’m owning my responsibility. And the real gift is that I was, once again, reminded that there’s always room for spiritual improvement. When I plug in to source, fear evaporates, I insist on being happy and ILML! 

– JamieQ

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Loving those we Love

“There is a powerful presence that’s around here at all times… opens doors of opportunity… nourishes your spirit…” – Until Today

It is often difficult to express love to those we are close to. Sometimes this is a lover whom we are angry with, a child who has behaved badly, or a parent who has never really shown us love the way we had expected and desired. Those who regularly read my words know that I consider God to be the expression of love. Ergo, I believe it’s my awareness of, faith in, and expression of love that opens the door to peace, happiness and abundance in my life. So when something in me says “Don’t express love to this person that I love”, I take the contrary action. If I really love them, I momentarily set aside their behavior, wrap my arms around them, and say “I love you”. Because, when I go back to love, ILML! – P.S. Today’s my dad’s birthday… I love you dad!

– JamieQ