“… I gave up trying to control… I sought a relationship with the God of my not understanding.” – Reaching for Personal Freedom 

It took me 10 years in program to finally get desperate enough to really want some kind of higher power. Until that point I knew that I knew: namely that God was not real. One day I heard someone say something to the effect of “So what. Maybe God’s not real. Maybe God is just a make-believe friend for grown ups. What’s wrong with that if it makes your life better?” It was just enough to crack the door open for me. How could I understand God when the full concept is really beyond anyone’s comprehension? These days I just know that when I’m thinking kind, loving thoughts and filled with a sense of gratitude, I’m plugged into a higher vibration, it feels good, and ILML!  
JamieQ

“Your opponents would love you to believe that it’s hopeless, that you have no power, that there’s no reason to act, that you can’t win. Hope is a gift you don’t have to surrender, a power you don’t have to throw away.” – The Guardian, July 15, 2016

My disease (my brain) would love me to believe that it is hopeless. Recovery is the power of hope manifest. The beginning of recovery is the reclaiming of hope, the reclaiming of the power of the spirit. 

I act my way into recovery. It’s simple: meetings, step work, service, sponsorship. Recovery takes the garbage of my darkest day and turns it into gold. AA 124. The paradox of recovery is that that harder I work, the more fun I have. “God wants us to be happy, joyous and free.” AA 133. If I work and have fun, I have a life that I love!

-Tom K. 

“Detaching in love can only happen when we decide to stop trying to make them act or treat us differently. Self-care begins when we decide to no longer allow their words or actions to control our feelings.” – Adapted from The Language of Letting Go 
Of course, this is much harder than it sounds. Not taking things personally, particularly when they are personal attacks, requires me to be on top of my spiritual, emotional and physical game. If I’m hungry, angry, lonely or tired, I’ll react. If I’m not in a place of gratitude, I’ll react. And even if I’m at the peak of enlightenment, I still may react, because I’m human. The good news is – these days – I respond kindly and detach in love more often than reacting. And whenever I’m able to keep the focus on me, and insist on being happy, ILML!  

– JamieQ

“Peace of mind comes from not wanting to change others. – Gerald Jampolsky

I read something similar to this in Attitudes of Gratitude in Love. Basically it said that we fall in love with someone because we like who they are, marry them, then spend the rest of our lives trying to change them to be like us. We’ve stopped focusing on why we love them and instead are focusing on the fact that they are not behaving the way we want them to, and it feels shitty. However, we can find peace and joy instantly if we simply refocus on the good in them AND do everything we can to be the best and happiest person we can be, regardless of what they are up to. I am now focused on being the best son, brother, father, husband, publisher, employer, sponsor, sponsee, and man I can be today and ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Avoid the rapids when possible. If you can’t, stay relaxed… If you go under for a moment, allow yourself to surface naturally. You will.” – The Language of Letting Go 

I do a ton of recovery work every day. Affirmations. Prayer. Yoga. Exercise. Eating healthy. Reading inspirational books. Journaling my inventory. Making amends. Writing gratitude lists. Going to meetings. Sponsorship. Sending out recovery texts and blog posts. And even with all that, the waters of my life are not always smooth and calm. When things get rough, when I am tossed and turned in the turbulent, crashing waves of my mind, occasionally I am taken under and can’t breath. In those moments, I do everything I can to reconnect with my higher power and have faith that I will survive and thrive. And I remember “This too shall pass!” and soon enough ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Living on a basis of unsatisfied demands (worried we would lose something we have or not get something we want), we were in a state of CONTINUAL disturbance and frustration.” – Adapted from Daily Reflections
The opposite way of living is to live in appreciation for all we have. If we’re feeling disturbed or frustrated, it means our focus is on our unsatisfied demands. Instead of trying to satisfy them, which doesn’t ever work for very long (because more of them come up all the time), we can make a written gratitude list, send a text to someone about why we appreciate them, or write a note to ourselves listing our recent accomplishments. By doing this, I never have to stay in a state of dis-ease for very long. When I’m aware of discomfort, and then take contrary action, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“… relish the moments… each day teems with tiny gifts… We can be conscious of every moment, thankful for every experience and every person we encounter.” – Each Day a New Beginning

The way I see it is that I can feel grateful or not, in every moment of life. When I’m not in gratitude, I’m usually blaming it on other things, people or circumstances. But the truth is that I, not other people, things or circumstances, choose how I feel. Knowing that, at any moment, I can choose to get back into gratitude, regardless of how life is unfolding, gives me the freedom to be grateful – and feel really good – no matter what is happening outside my hula hoop. And when I get back into gratitude, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Giving advice, making decisions for others, mapping out their strategy, is not our job.” – The Language of Letting Go 

The temptation to help others, particularly those we love, is great. And helping can be a great thing, provided the other person specifically and directly asks for our help. That’s the key right there. Saving others from grief, struggle or hardship when they haven’t asked for our wisdom or assistance prevents them from failure, struggle, pain, and accomplishment. That last thing, accomplishment, is what gives them self esteem and allows them to build on success. Experiencing pain and struggle is part of that process. Today I will stop trying to manage, save, direct or control others. Instead I’ll help only if asked. By staying in my hula hoop, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“I pray for the courage to trust my destiny to God.” – In God’s Care

Our program suggests we surrender to God’s will. What exactly does that mean? Well, that would depend upon your definition of God. Mine is compressed goodness, aka gratitude, aka the love inside and all around me. So how do I know if something is my will or God’s? Simple. When I think about what I want, do I feel good? Or is the thought of not getting – or losing – what I want, causing me pain? If I answered yes to the first question, I’ve surrendered. If I answered yes to the second, I’m in self-centered fear – not trusting my higher power. By aligning my will with God’s, ILML!

– JamieQ

“… when I expect more than others can give, I am setting myself up. Trying to get something or someone on the outside to make me content on the inside is futile.” – Hope For Today

How often have I done exactly that? I’m only expecting them to behave the way that I would. Isn’t that reasonable? And when they don’t, I politely ask them to, but often the still don’t cooperate? What’s my motive? To get them to act in a manner that makes me feel comfortable. Instead of attempting to manage, direct and control others so I feel better, today I’ll let them do their own thing, while I plug into a higher vibration and take healthy actions that makes me feel good. And by doing that, ILML! 

– JamieQ