“I learned not to react… My level of acceptance profoundly impacts my serenity.” – Hope For Today

Many years ago, a friend of mine who is not in the program was told by his doctor that if didn’t eliminate stress he would die soon. His ulcers were that serious. So he made a decision to not take things too seriously anymore, just like that. He also decided that, when someone said or did anything upsetting, he would take a deep breath and then exhale it slowly before speaking. I’ve witnessed him do this many times and can see how much kinder his responses are.

This holiday season I’ll take his suggestion and breathe deeply before I speak, thus avoiding having to make amends later. Almost done shopping, on the way to a Life Lovers meeting and ILML!   

– JamieQ

“It is unreasonable and unhealthy to expect one person to be the source for meeting all our needs.” – The Language of Letting Go 

Can you imagine having to meet every single need of someone else? If you’ve raised kids, you don’t have to imagine, you’ve been there and done that. But when it comes to intimate relationships, being with someone (or being that someone) who has frequent expectations & demands is exhausting – in fact, it’s the quickest way to sap all the romance out of a coupleship. Healthy relationships exist when each person gives what they can and is grateful for what the other can give. By taking steps to lower my expectations, practice acceptance and stop making unreasonable demands on my wife, I fall deeper and deeper in love with my her. And the more I love my wife, the more ILML! 🙂

“almost the only scoffers at prayer are those who never tried it enough.” – 12&12 p. 97
It is often said that the simplest and most profoundly effective prayer is “Thank you.” I believe this to be true because at its fundamental core, prayer to me is the dedicated practice of setting aside time for the specific purpose of re-minding myself of how grateful I am. When I get into a comfortable position reserved for plugging into goodness (aka, God) and say the words “thank you” over and over again, I am filled with an abundance (overflowing feeling) of gratitude. Take a moment now to close your eyes and slowly say “thank you” about 20 times. For each “thank you” spoken, think of a blessing in your life. How does that feel? Practicing these spiritual secrets is one more reason why ILML! 

– JamieQ

“… walk day by day  in the path of spiritual progress…” Big Book AA

Imagine you’re in jungle: beautiful but dense. There are many paths to choose from, each marked with a sign. One leads up a steep mountain and is marked “Path of Spiritual Progress.” It looks like there may be some waterfalls up there but it’s steep. The Path of Spiritual Progress that I’ve chosen takes a lot of work. It requires dedication, consistency, and perseverance every single day of my life. But the rewards are well with the effort. I’m constantly growing into a better version of me. Not only is my life great, but I meet  others like you on the path who constantly enrich it. ILML! 

– JamieQ

“The first thing we have to let go is our idea of happiness. If we are able to … happiness will come very easily.” – Thitch Nhat Hanh

When my happiness is conditional upon something happening, being with someone, or having another behave in a certain way, I’m making happiness a conditional thing and depriving myself of thousands of smiles and laughs. There are plenty of things I want, but today I’ll let go of anything I think I need to be happy and instead allow happiness to enter into my heart wherever it would like to come from. ILML!  

“So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.” – 12 Step Prayer Book 

How much of my misery was self inflicted because my expectations of others fell short? How much of my precious time on this beautiful planet was wasted by being disappointed in others? For this reason I now approach my relationships differently. These days I’m grateful for what others add to my life and don’t hang my hat on who I think they should be or their promises. I simply take what I like and leave the rest to them. If I determine they’re not really adding joy to my life, I let them go there way and move on. This allows me to celebrate life with others that want to share in the joy of living. Today I’m surrounded by people that truly add to my happiness. Just one more reason why ILML!

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“I can love them for who they are, instead of who I think they should be.” – Courage to Change
When I’m upset about someone, I’m usually thinking about how I wish they world talk, think, or act. I’m focused on the part of them that doesn’t meet my needs or expectations. I’m looking at them like a glass half empty, and the more I magnify their shortcomings, the less happy I am with them, and the worse our relationship becomes. By recognizing the cycle and focusing on all those things that are great about them, my opinion of them grows and our relationship gets better. Asking for my desires to be met is important. But if they don’t meet them, and I decide to remain anyway, why not focus on the good? Today I’ll let that person (you know who your “that person” is) know some of the things I really appreciate about them. ILML! 

“Make you the reflection of love that you want to give to the world.” – Adapted from The Five Minute Miracle (see link below)

Why am I so obsessed with love? I yell out ‘I love my life’ many times each day. I look in the mirror and say I love you with meaning. I tell my family and close friends I love them all the time. Here’s why: showing love and being loved makes me feel so good. And by doing the daily rituals to evolve myself into the best man I can be, the amount of love I am able to give and receive continuously grows. The rewards are well worth the effort – believe me. This path of love I’m on is the bomb. ILML! 

“The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter their life by altering their attitude of mind.” – William James

As my attitude goes, so goes my thoughts, feelings, perceptions, and actions. So if I find a way to improve my attitude, my life will get better. Here’s how I do it everyday: I have and work a daily program of action based on the 12 steps. This ritual has transformed both my attitudes and life, and where I once lived in judgement, blame and victimization, I now celebrate others, myself and being alive on this amazing planet each day. Thank you AA and AlAnon. ILML! 

– JamieQ