“Trade your expectations for appreciation and the world changes instantly.” – Tony Robbins

In this day and age when political tensions run high and so many of us wish that we could change things, I like to remember that I can change the world (as Tony says) instantly, by simply letting go of my expectations of people, places and things and instead diving deep into the warm, wonderful world of gratitude. There are literally hundreds of things I can be grateful for at any given time. By shifting my thoughts to them, and even taking it one step further by sharing those things I’m grateful for with others, I am magically transformed into a world of wonder and beauty, and suddenly ILML!

– JamieQ

“Some of us become too comfortable living with our familiar, unhealthy behaviors… our tendency to control… to let others control us… shutting down our emotions… yielding to them too easily… obsessing about our fears, or living in denial.” – Reaching for Personal Freedom 

Truth be told, I think most people aren’t even aware of most of their unhealthy behaviors. Before really working the program, I sure wasn’t. In order for this discovery to occur, we must first get into the habit of taking a regular inventory. This allows us to spot consistent patterns of thoughts and behaviors which take us away from serenity. When I put my pen to paper, I gain awareness, I begin to surrender the thoughts and behaviors which no longer serve me, I open the door for positive ones to flow through me, I start to feel really good again and then… ILML! 

“Sometimes… we may become convinced that things and people outside of ourselves hold the key to our happiness.” – The Language of Letting Go 

Addicts become obsessed with getting what they need to feel better. Alcohol, drugs, food, sex, money, recognition, validation, etc. We often believe that we can be happy if only… or that everything will be fine when… But deep inside we know it’s not true. Why? Because we’ve been there before. We said it before. And we got what we wanted before. And the happiness was fleeting at best. But I’ve found something that makes me happy right this moment. And it’s the kind of long-lived happiness I’ve always desired. And it’s not dependent on any person behaving a certain way, me getting something I’m waiting for, or any situation turning out the way I’d like it to be. By simply having, and working, a daily rigorous program of action made up of simply tasks that focus me on gratitude, love and kindness, I can be happy immediately, no matter what. Simply put, when I make it a priority to do the daily deal, ILML!  

– JamieQ

“… intelligence… is not a particularly reliable tool for recovery…” Daily Reflections

By searching google for definitions of intelligence and recovery we get the following: “the ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills in order to return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength.” That sounds great, but for me, intelligence is not enough. What helps is having the knowledge and acceptance that I can’t get there alone. This humility allows me to walk this path with others who want the same type of peace I long for. It also helps me find, connect to, and channel a higher power that I like to call Love. And when I add willingness, consistency and being of service to the mix, I get to live in the solution, be happy, joyous and free (no matter what) and… ILML!  

– JamieQ

“Avoid loud and aggressive person; they are vexations to the spirit.” 12 Step Prayerbook (Desiderata)

My dad is one of the most loving men I know. Growing up he read and told me stories at bedtime. Tucked me in. Stroked my hair. Told me he loved me and how wonderful I was. He took me on hikes, to the batting cages, to visit animal recovery homes. Today he tells me often how proud he is of me. But when I was young my father drank sometimes. And when he did, his voice would get loud and scary, and he would be aggressive. Thank God he eventually got sober. In fact, he was my Recovery Eskimo. These days he speaks softly and kindly, and I practice doing the same. We both try to avoid loud, aggressive people. By living in the solution, consistently trying to become a better man, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“… how I judge others is most likely the way I judge myself. So when I see myself being critical of others, it’s a reminder that I have some spiritual work to do.” – Recovery Text by Jason Williams 

My sponsor makes a clear distinction between judgement and discernment. To me, judgement is kind of like internal gossiping. It’s basically my thoughts putting someone else down, which just puts me in a state of negativity. Discernment, on the other hand, is my mind’s attempt to determine, based on another’s behavior, what action is best for me to take. For example, if their words seem mean, I can ask myself: Am I being defensive? Should I just hear them out? Is this a pattern that typically escalates? Should I detach and step away? Instead of judging others, by using their behavior as a practical guide to help me discern the best actions I can take in my relationship with them, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“… we are enriched by what we give, not by what we have… today I look for a chance to give to someone in need because this is how I grow spiritually wealthy.” – In God’s World

Whether it’s a family member, friend, someone in recovery or a stranger, giving of myself without any though of repayment, pays dividends of happiness way beyond the amount of time I spend. Likewise, giving time to take care of myself spiritually, emotionally and physically enables me to give to others in a way that would otherwise be impossible if I am spiritually, emotionally or physically unbalanced. That’s why I spend time each day to do the daily deal. I feel better and am able to be there for others in a way that enriches me, allowing me to mean it when I say “ILML!”

– JamieQ

…the outer world is a mirror of our inner world. If we can tame the inner beast inside, the dramas in our outer worlds will subside.” – Tiny Buddha  

It’s funny how I often perceive that the way I’m feeling is a result of the outside world – people, places, things and situations. But the truth is, the outside world really is more of a reflection of how I’m feeling. This is great news, because it means that if the outside world isn’t really going my way, I have the power to change it, simply by adjusting my attitude. I have lots of ways to do that: I can plug into my HP, say some affirmations, stretch, do some yoga, sing, dance, exercise, handle my responsibilities,take better care of myself, get enough sleep and healthy food, go to a meeting,  read some good inspirational literature, journal, write and share a gratitude list, or reach out to others in my recovery circle. Today I have a giant toolkit full of great ways to feel good. When I take time to use some of those tools in order to feel better inside, things outside of me start to get better too, and ILML! 

JamieQ

“Abundance flows from the wings of gratitude.” – The Heart Whisper Gratitude Challenge

Abundance is a state of existence whereby life is fully saturated with love and happiness. For so many years my eyes were closed to the practice of gratitude, a prerequisite and by-product of abundance. But when I spend time each day thinking of those things I am grateful for, and then write them down, and then share them with another, something magical happens. My gratitude manifests into abundance. And that abundance manifests into even more gratitude. And so I practice the art of gratitude regularly. And, as a result, life becomes more abundant each day. Which is another reason why ILML! 

– JamieQ

“I would rather go through life sober, believing I am an alcoholic, than go through life drunk, trying to convince myself that I am not.” – Anonymous on RecoveryExperts.com

Wow. This really hits the nail on the head when talking to another alcoholic. The next time someone says to me: 

“Well maybe I’m not an alcoholic, I’m not sure. How do you even know for sure. Anyway, alcohol wasn’t even a big deal. I really like getting high more than drunk.” 

My answer will simply be 

“Maybe you’re not an alcoholic or addict, only you can really know that for yourself. Maybe I’m not even a real alcoholic or addict. It was 35 years ago that I drank and used. However, here’s how I see it. I’d rather go through life sober, believing I am an alcoholic and addict, than go through life drunk and stoned, trying to convince myself that I am not. And besides, I love my life and it doesn’t include alcohol or drugs so why would I bother?” 

When I remember my primary purpose, to stay sober and help other alcoholics achieve sobriety, ILML!!

– JamieQ