alanon

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Enter into my Heart

“The first thing we have to let go is our idea of happiness. If we are able to … happiness will come very easily.” – Thitch Nhat Hanh

When my happiness is conditional upon something happening, being with someone, or having another behave in a certain way, I’m making happiness a conditional thing and depriving myself of thousands of smiles and laughs. There are plenty of things I want, but today I’ll let go of anything I think I need to be happy and instead allow happiness to enter into my heart wherever it would like to come from. ILML!  

  

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The Joy of Living

“So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.” – 12 Step Prayer Book 

How much of my misery was self inflicted because my expectations of others fell short? How much of my precious time on this beautiful planet was wasted by being disappointed in others? For this reason I now approach my relationships differently. These days I’m grateful for what others add to my life and don’t hang my hat on who I think they should be or their promises. I simply take what I like and leave the rest to them. If I determine they’re not really adding joy to my life, I let them go there way and move on. This allows me to celebrate life with others that want to share in the joy of living. Today I’m surrounded by people that truly add to my happiness. Just one more reason why ILML!

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Recognizing the Cycle

“I can love them for who they are, instead of who I think they should be.” – Courage to Change
When I’m upset about someone, I’m usually thinking about how I wish they world talk, think, or act. I’m focused on the part of them that doesn’t meet my needs or expectations. I’m looking at them like a glass half empty, and the more I magnify their shortcomings, the less happy I am with them, and the worse our relationship becomes. By recognizing the cycle and focusing on all those things that are great about them, my opinion of them grows and our relationship gets better. Asking for my desires to be met is important. But if they don’t meet them, and I decide to remain anyway, why not focus on the good? Today I’ll let that person (you know who your “that person” is) know some of the things I really appreciate about them. ILML! 

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Obsessed with Love

“Make you the reflection of love that you want to give to the world.” – Adapted from The Five Minute Miracle (see link below)

Why am I so obsessed with love? I yell out ‘I love my life’ many times each day. I look in the mirror and say I love you with meaning. I tell my family and close friends I love them all the time. Here’s why: showing love and being loved makes me feel so good. And by doing the daily rituals to evolve myself into the best man I can be, the amount of love I am able to give and receive continuously grows. The rewards are well worth the effort – believe me. This path of love I’m on is the bomb. ILML! 

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I Now Celebrate

“The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter their life by altering their attitude of mind.” – William James

As my attitude goes, so goes my thoughts, feelings, perceptions, and actions. So if I find a way to improve my attitude, my life will get better. Here’s how I do it everyday: I have and work a daily program of action based on the 12 steps. This ritual has transformed both my attitudes and life, and where I once lived in judgement, blame and victimization, I now celebrate others, myself and being alive on this amazing planet each day. Thank you AA and AlAnon. ILML! 

– JamieQ

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Into Me You See

“Loneliness comes from a feeling of separation, the idea that we are different.” – In God’s Care

Our program has solutions that lead to serenity, peace and happiness. This is great news for most of us, who have spent years in disfunctional relationships, destructive behavior and unhappiness. But the icing on the cake is the deep, meaningful, safe friendships we develop by showing up to meetings and that feeling of connectedness we get from exchanging intimacy (into me you see). My life is richer than I ever could’ve hoped because of all my friends in the fellowship. ILML! 

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The Luckiest Man in the World

… he stands at the edge of new mysteries, joys, and experiences of which he had never even dreamed.” 12&12, p.110

I can tell you this. I’ve slept in abandoned cars. In empty homes. In jail. In a mental hospital. On a beige rug with fleas so thick it looked black. In my vomit. In a closet. And those aren’t even the really bad places. When I remember that, my life is so far beyond any dream I ever had. That’s why I tell people I truly believe that I’m the luckiest man in the world. Thank you God, AA, AlAnon,  and AlAnon. ILML! 
– JamieQ

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Every Ounce of my Heart

“… let me sow love.” – 12 Step Prayer Book

I’ve discovered that in order to most effectively do this, I have to start by growing and nurturing the way I love myself. Once I came to a point where I really loved being me, and learned how to support that on a daily basis, I found that deeply loving others without being codependent was easy. Today I have many Sponsees and a Sponsor that I love with every ounce of my heart, and their love for me blesses me a thousand times over. ILML! 

  

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My True Motives

“To detach … means I love myself enough to stay out of others’ insanity.” – Hope For Today 

This is a great page. It speaks to the place my head gets into when I confuse caring with attempting to fix, control, or change another. It reminds me that ‘Being helpful and kind’ is great, provided that, in my divine righteousness, I am not being kind and helpful in order to get them to do what I think is best.  Today I’ll let others behave as they wish, I’ll help if asked, detach if it’s toxic, stay connected to God and try to be the best James I can be today. ILML! 

– JamieQ

  

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Restored to Emotional Health

“… practicing these Steps, we had a spiritual awakening…” – 12&12 p. 109

I like the words “spiritual awakening.” At first I thought the concept was just a cliche we use in the rooms. Today it implies that I’ve recognized that I’m disconnected from my higher power – that sense of peace, love and comfort I crave – and feel the desire to plug back in. 

As the quote states it takes some actual actions – or work – to reconnect. I do this by using the tools of the program, including my rituals, prayer, meditation, the steps, fellowship and meetings. Through consistently committing time and energy to this practice I am restored to emotional health, and best of all, once again, ILML!