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The Ugly Reality

“… nausea, dry heaves, the rocking bed, the nightmare-filled mind.” – From Stars Don’t Fall in AA’s Big Book

Whenever I find myself thinking about drinking in a romantic way, all I have to do is read that one line. This is the ugly reality of where the disease takes me and others. Whether it was my family, friends, strangers or me, drinking always tended to end badly. 

For people like me there is no half-glass of wine or “just one” Margarita. And my disease begins way before the drink. It starts with negative attitudes, behaviors, words and perceptions. By staying spiritually healthy I can keep my mind in a positive place and stay away from that next drink, and the total destruction of this amazing life the program has given me. 

Sobriety, not booze,  is my best friend today. And for that reason, ILML!

— JamieQ

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97% of the Time

“I can start my day over at any time. Finding a reason to feel grateful is a great way to do it.” – Hope For Today 

I’m going to be totally honest, just about everything can upset me. Most of the time things really don’t go exactly the way I want them to. 

Certainly more often than not people don’t do or say things how I believe they should. It’s generally pretty easy for me to find a reason to feel negative in some way, and if I’m in a funky place, it’s even easier. But I’ve learned how self-destructive this is. I may not be able to help initially feeling let down or upset, but I can quickly start fresh and get back into the attitude of gratitude. 

Shortening the periods of time when I’m discontent, and lengthening the intervals when I feel great is the secret to loving my life more often. 

And, because I’m working a program of action, and in the solution, most of the time, I can honestly say that about 97% of the time, ILML!

— JamieQ

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Tired of the Anxiety

“Using my self will in a situation usually has the same result as forcing the wrong piece into a jigsaw puzzle – exhaustion and frustration. When I ask God for guidance I know that whatever happens is the best possible situation, things are exactly as they are supposed to be, even if they aren’t what I want or expect. God does for me what I cannot do for myself, if I let him. – Daily Reflections 3/11/15

This is good to hear today. I have a couple situations in my life that are causing me anxiety and stress. I believe this means that I am, in some way, running on self-will and trying to force that wrong piece into the jigsaw puzzle, as the quote says. 

Today I’m going to pray and meditate, ask my higher power for direction and surrender these feelings to him. I’m tired of the anxiety. I know that things are exactly as they are supposed to be even though it is making me uncomfortable. I will do whatever it takes today to surrender to my higher power and find serenity. ILML!

— JasonW

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Decreasing my Suffering

“Choose your thoughts carefully, keep what brings you peace, release what brings you suffering and know that happiness is just a thought away.” – Nishan Panwar

Simple concept and so true, although the secret is finding out how to do this quickly and then practicing it regularly until it becomes a habit. The first step for me is awareness. To become conscious of when I am suffering. This need not be big or dramatic, rather it can be as subtle as just feeling a little down or hurt. 

Once I become versed at practicing awareness, the next step is to discover what works to help me release me from my suffering thoughts. I use prayer (connecting with my HP), journaling out my thoughts and feelings, writing a gratitude list, meditating, making amends to myself and/or others if I’ve discovered the need to do so in my writing, calling my sponsor or another inspired person I trust to help me release my suffering, getting into service with others or just doing a selfless act like picking up some trash or cleaning something for someone else without being asked, exercising and getting to a meeting. I also use HALT as an acronym reminder to see whether I’m hungry, angry, lonely or tired and address any of those issues. 

Once I felt like I had some workable solutions to help me release the suffering, it was time for the hard part: action. Consistently taking those actions which represented my path to peace was the only way I could master the process, and allow myself to quickly transition out of thoughts that cause me suffering and into those that bring me peace and happiness. 

I’m pretty sure that having discovered, and continuing to use, this system to decrease my personal suffering is a big reason why ILML! 

— JamieQ

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One of the Lucky Ones

“… the more people can become aware without judgement, the more they can change in the direction they desire.” Attitudes of Gratitude in Love 

I believe that having good, positive thoughts and attitudes are necessary for me to manifest the destiny I dream of.  Judgement can definitely block me from abundance. 

Comparing myself to others (better or worse than), gossiping, or even thinking I know better than them is like wearing 100 pound weighted vest — reaching the top of the mountain is way harder. 

My sponsor Dan suggested that discerning is more appropriate than judging because it allows me to make healthy decisions without the emotional attachment. 

Today, as I open my eyes to all around me, if I find myself in judgement, I’ll recognize what I’m doing, detach from the drama and simply discern whether or not there is some action to take —then take it — provided it doesn’t hurt me or anyone else. This will allow me to get back to a place where I can invite abundance, remembering that I am one of the lucky ones because ILML! 

— JamieQ

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My Magic Wand

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life… makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” – Melody Beattie

There exists a magic wand that changes everything from bad to good, from lack to abundance, and from confusion to clarity. When I pick it up and use it, “Shazam“, my life changes. The sun comes out, I see rainbows, and my frown turns into a smile. 

Well not exactly, but close. The magic wand is Gratitude. If I can find a way to get into gratitude when I’m having a rough time, my perception of everything shifts. And where I felt bad before, I now feel much better. 

The program has given me many tools to get into gratitude, but ultimately it’s up to me to focus on those solutions rather than my problems. 

Most of my days are beautiful, and a big reason is that I regularly pick up and wave my magic wand. ILML! 

– JamieQ

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Building Blocks of Success

“A person who makes no mistakes usually does not make anything.” – Alcoholism, the Family Disease

Getting upset about  mistakes just fuels my self-pity. Instead, I recognize that mistakes are the building blocks for my success. For me, it’s trickier when others make mistakes. I’m quick to judge and then try to fix them. It might be ok with kids and employees, but not so much with everyone else. Today I’ll aim to allow my friends and loved ones to make mistakes and remember that their mistakes are the building blocks for their success. I love my continuing education in recovery and ILML!  

– JamieQ

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Lifeline Back to Sanity

“When you are grateful, fear disappears, and abundance appears” 

– Tony Robbins

I’ve discovered that, for me at least, there is no better way to get out of a funk than to get into gratitude. But when I’ve gone over the cliff and into the darkness, it’s often hard to find my way back. That’s why being involved in the fellowship and leaning on others that love me and will guide me home to gratitude is so critical. The people in the rooms are sometimes my only lifeline back to sanity. I’m so grateful they are there for me, and I’m there for them. ILML!



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Shame into Flame

“The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well.” – Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Courage to Change says that shame is hating ourselves for something we did or didn’t do in the past. Think about that. Being upset about the past to the extent that we can’t feel good about ourselves today. This distorted thinking poisons our lives, and no one can eradicate the shame we live with except us. 

Take this challenge with me. Let’s make today the day we finally, once and for all, let go of every perceived mistake we’ve ever made in our lives – they no longer serve us. 

Join me in writing down all our mistakes. Every bad decision we think we’ve made. Every missed opportunity we think we could have had. Everything we think we did wrong. All this negativity we’ve been hanging onto. Now let’s set that paper on fire, while saying  “I forgive me”, until all those mistakes that caused us guilt, shame and regret are gone. 

Now we can celebrate our newfound freedom. Today we begin our lives shame-free. ILML! 

JamieQ





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A Part of the Solution

“As a result of this guidance, I start every morning on my knees, thanking God for three things: I’m alive, I’m sober, and I’m a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. Then I try to live an “attitude of gratitude” and thoroughly enjoy another twenty-four hours of the A.A. way of life. A.A. is not something I joined; it’s something I live. – Daily Reflections 2/24/15

Through taking direction and working steps day after day I try to keep things as simple as this quote suggests. When I stay in gratitude, no matter what is happening,  I invite abundance into my life and I’m able to be part of the solution. 

My problems seem to melt away if I can stay grateful and take the next right indicated actions which I get from my sponsor, spiritual work, prayer/meditation, meetings, and program friends. I have to live it all day, everyday, or I give my disease a chance to start talking me into fear, anxiety, and worry. 

So grateful we have a solution. ILML!

– JasonW