“I feel acceptance is love…” – Daily Reflections 
When I refuse to accept someone’s unacceptable behavior, I continue to feel unloved. When I fail to accept some medical condition, I continue to feel scared. When I fail to accept financial struggles, I often make things worse. But acceptance doesn’t mean I’m powerless, it’s quite the opposite. Acceptance empowers me to take action. First I accept the situation as a fact. Next I take action to effectuate change, provided it’s loving and kind for everyone. And finally, if action is not possible or in everyone’s best interest, I let go and give it to God, trusting that but doing so things will work out just fine. When I remember that acceptance empowers me with choices, I stop fighting reality and ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Live every day as if it were going to be your last; for one day you’re sure to be right.” – Harry Morant

I think that to live until 80 years old would be a pretty long life. But 80 years is only 29,200 days. And as an adult, from 18 on, that’s only 22,630 days. But since I’m 55, that would mean I have only 9,125 days left, and that’s only if I make it to 80! Have you ever figured out how many days you have left? I can promise you, once you do, you may think twice about wasting any of them being upset or unhappy. So today I will let go of fear and drama and instead dance, sing, play, laugh, smile, jump, run, do my spin arounds, skateboard, eat and drink healthy, delicious tasting food, kiss, hug, rest, meditate, exercise, be productive, fellowship with others, feel the wind and sunshine on my face, hug a tree – today I insist on having some fun. Because when I recognize how precious life really is, and take concrete actions that lead to it’s enjoyment, ILML!

– Jamie

“Discipline magically leads to results in your life… (it) cannot be forced upon you…” – Until Today

The payoff I get from being self-disciplined in my program rituals is magical – I get to love my life! It’s like winning the lottery of life every morning and only paying $1 each day. My rituals consist of consciously staying connected to source, saying affirmations out loud, yelling out I love my life, highlighting books from my spiritual backpack, journaling, writing and sharing gratitude lists, sending out these inspirational messages, connecting with others who love in the solution, using program principles in all my affairs, attending AA and Alanon meetings, and making amends as soon as I become aware that I’ve hurt someone (intentionally or unintentionally). By staying self-disciplined, and rigorously repeating healthy behaviors on a daily basis, my perception and attitude remain healthy and ILML! 

– JamieQ

“If we live each day to the best of our ability, we will soon find we don’t have time to worry about the future or regret the past. We will be too busy enjoying life.” – Alanon—Hope for Children of Alcoholics, p. 56

If we hang around in recovery long enough, we will hear this theme over and over again. But the truth is – at least for me – that it’s impossible to not reflect on the past, or think about the future. What I strive for is to not get stuck. When I’m replaying the past too often, I’m stuck. When I’m excited or scared about something in the future too often, I’m stuck. When I get lost and stop living in the now, my secret for getting back to the present is awareness. By consciously exercising my awareness muscle, I’m able to recognize when I’m overly focused on the past or the future. Only then can I apply program solutions to calm my mind and bring it back into this moment of time. When I take those actions, suddenly I find myself back, feeling grateful for everything and ILML! 

– James

“Sure, something unpleasant happened! That was then, this is now. There is no need for you to remain a victim.” – Until Today
No one wants to be the victim, right? If so, then why do we become one over and over and over again? The moment we begin to ponder the wrong done to us, we become a victim. So how do we avoid this trap, knowing that unacceptable situations will occur for the rest of our life? Rather than wanting, hoping or trying to get them to change, we take action. We have power over (1) our expectations, (2) our unhealthy words, attitudes and behaviors, and (3) our continued participation in dysfunctional situations. We can avoid becoming the victim when we take consistent actions on all three fronts, and in the order of 1-2-3. When I replace expectations with gratitude for however things turn out, invest daily in my spiritual and emotional well-being, and detach from toxic situations, ILML! 

– JamesQ

“We enjoy moments in which there is something like real peace of mind.” – 12&12 p.74

In thinking back to my days before some sobriety, I can’t remember any time where I actually had peace of mind. I usually awoke feeling very uncomfortable, then I got high or drank to face the day, and afterwords attempted to make money to buy things, making sure I kept booze and drugs on hand at all times. I had no higher power or self-esteem. I didn’t like myself. I didn’t like others. I loved to get things, never to give. I was angry and unhappy. I had few friends and all the relationships that I did have were strained. It was like Groundhog Day. Wake up. Get wasted. Trudge unhappily through the day. Get wasted. Go to bed. Rinse and repeat. That life gave me zero peace of mind. The program changed everything. I look forward to each day as I arise, happy to be alive, smiling and grateful, connected to God because ILML! 

-JamieQ

“When we’ve lost our eyesight, we recognize that to have good vision is a wonder.” Thitch Nhat Hanh

When I consider all the gifts, the true miracles that exist in my life, it’s pretty hard to understand how it’s even possible for me to ever get upset or depressed. In fact, I would go so far as to say that, if I could truly live my life consistently conscious of my blessings—eyesight, smell, skin, hair, legs, arms, fingers, toes, intelligence, health, people who love me, people I love, my loving pets, the ocean, dolphins, whales, turtles, fish, flowers, blue skies, stars, deep sleep, a roof over my head, a soft pillow, my teeth—I would be so occupied in my appreciation of the endless gifts of life that there would be no way to ever be unhappy. Like a dark cloud on a windy day, the moment fear crept in, faith and gratitude would overpower it and sweep it away. That’s why I write gratitude lists each day. Because when I stay in appreciation of this truly miraculous experience called life, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“This above all—to thine own self be true…” Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act I, Scene III

As many who read this blog know, it took me 7 years after quitting drugs and alcohol to make it into the program. That was when I was sick and tired of being emotionally sick and tired. White knuckling, feeling alone and lost, I found my seat and admitted to everyone that I was an alcoholic. That was when I started showing my true colors. These days I’m usually surrounded by a wide spread of 12 step and other literature at Starbucks while doing my morning rituals. Today, a man I’ve never seen came up to me and said “I know those books. My name is Harvey, I have 30 years.” I got up. We hugged and it was epic, because when I let go of the fear of being judged for being affected by alcoholism and in recovery, and instead just spread myself out there for the whole world to see, I open myself up to abundance of all kinds and ILML! 

– JamieQ

“The Twelve Steps won’t work for anyone unless they are practiced… over and over… good habits—just like bad ones—strengthen with use and time.” – In God’s Care

Many times each year people ask me why I spend an hour or two each morning at Starbucks with all these books from my spiritual backpack, highlighting and writing. In order for me to live that part of the 12th step that says “practice these principles in all our affairs,” I have to work the steps daily. My morning rituals are how I do this. I used to think going to meetings, being of service, sponsorship, and prayer were enough. I was wrong. When I love myself enough to dedicate time to working my program every day, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Higher power, help me… It is so easy to… blame others and circumstances.” – 12 Step Prayer Book 

95% of the time, when I get upset, my first instinct is to blame someone or something. But since most people, places, things and situations are beyond my control, blaming them (or it) for my discomfort simply keeps me imprisoned in it. Freedom comes from finding my part, changing what I can, and letting go. And I’ve discovered the letting go is a lot easier when I have an imaginary higher power and simply give it to him. So today I’ll do what I can to make things better and then let go and let God when things upset me that I can’t change because when I do that, ILML! 

– JamieQ