“If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.” – New Jersey Transit Authority Sign

I often talk about the two inner voices that constantly speak to me. One voice is higher powered voice and the other is lower powered. Recognizing which one is speaking to me is of fundamental importance in my quest for loving life. Today if I hear any static from the talk radio channel in my head called KCRAP, I’ll change the dial and tune into the sweet words of KLML, the station where ILML! 

– JamieQ

“I just have to ask whether acceptance—or change—is required.” – Daily Reflections

According to Wikipedia, the most common versionof the serenity prayer is the one we say at meetings, but the most well-known for

‘God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.’

The changes to the one commonly heard in 12 step meetings are subtle, but important to me.

First I noticed that in this version I’m asking for grace, which according to my mobile dictionary is ‘a disposition to kindness and compassion’. So I’m asking to be kind and compassionate to myself rather than frustrated, angry or in self-pity over something I can’t change. 

Next, I noticed that, in this version, I’m not asking to change the things I can. I’ve always thought that line was odd in that there are lots of things I can change but perhaps shouldn’t (like leaving my job, punishing someone, or picking up to numb myself out). Here it makes better sense by having me ask for courage to change only those things which should be changed. I like that better. 

The final part means about the same thing, and is what the quote from Daiky Reflections refer to. But now, with this clearer understanding of what I cannot change versus what should be changed, I’m better prepared to ask for, and receive, direction which best serves my goal of being happy, joyous and free. 

Grateful that I’m always willing to learn and grow so that ILML! 

Jamie Q

PS- Intersting fact: Martin Luther King invited Niebuhr to participate in the third Selma to Montgomery March in 1965, and Niebuhr responded by telegram: 

“Only a severe stroke prevents me from accepting … I hope there will be a massive demonstration of all the citizens with conscience in favor of the elemental human rights of voting and freedom of assembly.“

“Tolerance… is the bigness that enables me to let people be happy in their own way instead of my way.” – 12 Step Prayer Book

We all have fun in different ways. I like to surf, skate, be productive, work, do my rituals, sleep in ice-cold air conditioning, fellowship with others in the program, hike, exercise and spend time with my family. Some of these my wife enjoys, but many she doesn’t. Likewise, my wife enjoys many things that I don’t like. I used to try to get her to like the fun things I thought were great and let go of those I judged as not so great. The truth is I love that she is different — if she was exactly like me our relationship would be boring. A slight shift in my perception can bring in a flow of gratitude, put a smile on my face and remind me that ILML!

– JamieQ

“A moment’s pause to let our Higher Power guide us will help us decide the best response for each situation.” – In God’s Care
This reading talked about responding honestly in accordance to our “inner wisdom.” Our program mentions how important it is to be rigorously honest, but I choose to believe that they are referring to being honest in all our affairs with ourself and our sponsor. Sometimes it’s appropriate to honestly disclose things to others, sometimes it’s not. Honesty is the best policy – I just have to make sure I’m sharing my truth with the right person. Today I’ll pause and ask for inner wisdom before speaking my mind. Doing so may save me a lot of grief, keeping me in that sweet spot where ILML! 
– JamieQ

“In my mind are thoughts that can hurt me or help me. I am constantly choosing the contents of my mind. I can choose to let go of everything but loving thoughts.” – Love is Letting Go of Fear

This passage reminds me that I’m the one who is constantly choosing the contents of my mind. Lately I have been staying out of the mud and just stepping back to watch the river go by. My thoughts are all over the map. The judge, little Clay, my soul, is just observing and can be a sort of referee on which thoughts get to live rent free in my head. I love my life when I choose to love people instead of reacting defensively like I learned in my alcoholic charged childhood home. I’m choosing to love myself and practice it daily in the mirror. ILML

– ClaytonN

“The ocean is life. The waves are situations happening in my life.” – Hope For Today 
This reading is about getting out my board and surfing through life. Sometimes the waves are scary and dangerous and I’ve learned some surfing secrets to disengage from them (like duck diving and just paddling in). Other times they are super exciting and fun. Still other times it’s calm and mellow out there. I’ve learned to ‘play well with others’ and invite fellowship rather than be a wave hog. When I live life as a spiritual and serene soul surfer, I love others, I love myself, and ILML! 

“… neither inner nor outer enemies will prosper or take over unless you let them.” – Until Today

I’ve heard others say hurtful, shameful, angry words to me. I’ve heard my inner voice say them to me too. Those words imprison me in misery, or at the very least, take me there for a little while. When we finally hit a bottom around allowing the dis-ease (either ours or another’s) to hurt us, we’re ready to do the work necessary to love our life: (1) writing and sharing our daily gratitude, (2) reading from books that inspire us, (3) journaling out our problems and writing down solutions, and (4) sharing that inspiration with others. By taking these actions, we detach from negativity and insist on enjoying each precious moment of life. In Florida, with my beautiful wife, about to see my daughter Annie play softball and ILML! 

– JamieQ