“… intelligence… is not a particularly reliable tool for recovery…” Daily Reflections

By searching google for definitions of intelligence and recovery we get the following: “the ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills in order to return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength.” That sounds great, but for me, intelligence is not enough. What helps is having the knowledge and acceptance that I can’t get there alone. This humility allows me to walk this path with others who want the same type of peace I long for. It also helps me find, connect to, and channel a higher power that I like to call Love. And when I add willingness, consistency and being of service to the mix, I get to live in the solution, be happy, joyous and free (no matter what) and… ILML!  

– JamieQ

“Avoid loud and aggressive person; they are vexations to the spirit.” 12 Step Prayerbook (Desiderata)

My dad is one of the most loving men I know. Growing up he read and told me stories at bedtime. Tucked me in. Stroked my hair. Told me he loved me and how wonderful I was. He took me on hikes, to the batting cages, to visit animal recovery homes. Today he tells me often how proud he is of me. But when I was young my father drank sometimes. And when he did, his voice would get loud and scary, and he would be aggressive. Thank God he eventually got sober. In fact, he was my Recovery Eskimo. These days he speaks softly and kindly, and I practice doing the same. We both try to avoid loud, aggressive people. By living in the solution, consistently trying to become a better man, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“… how I judge others is most likely the way I judge myself. So when I see myself being critical of others, it’s a reminder that I have some spiritual work to do.” – Recovery Text by Jason Williams 

My sponsor makes a clear distinction between judgement and discernment. To me, judgement is kind of like internal gossiping. It’s basically my thoughts putting someone else down, which just puts me in a state of negativity. Discernment, on the other hand, is my mind’s attempt to determine, based on another’s behavior, what action is best for me to take. For example, if their words seem mean, I can ask myself: Am I being defensive? Should I just hear them out? Is this a pattern that typically escalates? Should I detach and step away? Instead of judging others, by using their behavior as a practical guide to help me discern the best actions I can take in my relationship with them, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“… we are enriched by what we give, not by what we have… today I look for a chance to give to someone in need because this is how I grow spiritually wealthy.” – In God’s World

Whether it’s a family member, friend, someone in recovery or a stranger, giving of myself without any though of repayment, pays dividends of happiness way beyond the amount of time I spend. Likewise, giving time to take care of myself spiritually, emotionally and physically enables me to give to others in a way that would otherwise be impossible if I am spiritually, emotionally or physically unbalanced. That’s why I spend time each day to do the daily deal. I feel better and am able to be there for others in a way that enriches me, allowing me to mean it when I say “ILML!”

– JamieQ

…the outer world is a mirror of our inner world. If we can tame the inner beast inside, the dramas in our outer worlds will subside.” – Tiny Buddha  

It’s funny how I often perceive that the way I’m feeling is a result of the outside world – people, places, things and situations. But the truth is, the outside world really is more of a reflection of how I’m feeling. This is great news, because it means that if the outside world isn’t really going my way, I have the power to change it, simply by adjusting my attitude. I have lots of ways to do that: I can plug into my HP, say some affirmations, stretch, do some yoga, sing, dance, exercise, handle my responsibilities,take better care of myself, get enough sleep and healthy food, go to a meeting,  read some good inspirational literature, journal, write and share a gratitude list, or reach out to others in my recovery circle. Today I have a giant toolkit full of great ways to feel good. When I take time to use some of those tools in order to feel better inside, things outside of me start to get better too, and ILML! 

JamieQ

“Abundance flows from the wings of gratitude.” – The Heart Whisper Gratitude Challenge

Abundance is a state of existence whereby life is fully saturated with love and happiness. For so many years my eyes were closed to the practice of gratitude, a prerequisite and by-product of abundance. But when I spend time each day thinking of those things I am grateful for, and then write them down, and then share them with another, something magical happens. My gratitude manifests into abundance. And that abundance manifests into even more gratitude. And so I practice the art of gratitude regularly. And, as a result, life becomes more abundant each day. Which is another reason why ILML! 

– JamieQ

“I would rather go through life sober, believing I am an alcoholic, than go through life drunk, trying to convince myself that I am not.” – Anonymous on RecoveryExperts.com

Wow. This really hits the nail on the head when talking to another alcoholic. The next time someone says to me: 

“Well maybe I’m not an alcoholic, I’m not sure. How do you even know for sure. Anyway, alcohol wasn’t even a big deal. I really like getting high more than drunk.” 

My answer will simply be 

“Maybe you’re not an alcoholic or addict, only you can really know that for yourself. Maybe I’m not even a real alcoholic or addict. It was 35 years ago that I drank and used. However, here’s how I see it. I’d rather go through life sober, believing I am an alcoholic and addict, than go through life drunk and stoned, trying to convince myself that I am not. And besides, I love my life and it doesn’t include alcohol or drugs so why would I bother?” 

When I remember my primary purpose, to stay sober and help other alcoholics achieve sobriety, ILML!!

– JamieQ

“… we placed humility first… we received the gift of faith…” – 12&12 p.30

Humility, to me, is recognizing everything in the 11th step prayer to be true, and practicing it. It really is better to understand, comfort and love others than to be understood, comforted and loved. Why? Because we feel truly comforted when we place our focus on comforting others, helping them to get out of their dis-ease. We feel truly understood when we really listen to others and understand how they feel – putting ourselves in their shoes. We feel truly loved when we learn to love others for the pure joy of having the opportunity to be loving. When I practice the suggestions in the 11th step prayer, I feel good, which great! And let’s face it, good is just another word for… God. ILML! 

– JamieQ

“… challenge comes to make you, not break you… take a breath… Tell yourself ‘This is going to make me stronger!” – Until Today

When we begin to start believing that everything happens exactly the way it’s supposed to in order for us to be happier and feel an even greater sense of freedom and joy, then we are forced to reframe our initial impressions of what’s happening in life. Challenges, well, they challenge us. We can approach them with the idea that we will walk through this and be stronger, or we can feel upset, defeated and in despair – the choice is ours. By realizing that I’m in control of my reactions, my feelings, and my thoughts and then choosing to see the good in everything, no matter what’s going on, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Admitted… the exact nature of our wrongs.” – Excerpt from AA’s Step 5

Who wishes to admit their wrongs? Only those that want to become a better person. In fact, if I don’t search for, discover, admit, and attempt to amend my wrongs, I cannot continue my path into the 4th dimension of happiness and beyond. I’ll get stuck, and likely blame others for my plight. Why? Because resenting others is often less painful than resenting ourselves. But the solution is easy and actually feels good in the end. 

I consistently write down (admit) in my journal what defects of character, behaviors, attitudes and inactions are holding me back from being the best person I can be. Then I write down the opposite, positive behaviors I would like to live by next to it. Finally, I continue practicing the new behaviors instead of the old ones, because by doing so, ILML! 

– JamieQ