“Love is like oxygen. Love is a many splendored thing. Love lifts us up where we belong…”– From the movie Moulin Rouge 

I’ve also always been a romantic, and believe deeply in romantic love. And although, while growing up, alcoholism ran rampant in my home, and along with it lots of dysfunctional and hurtful behavior, both of my parents loved me like crazy. Love was being taken care of when I was struggling, cared about, listened to, and sharing intimacy (into me you see). As a child I once asked my dad, “What is God?” He said, “You know that feeling you get when mommy picks you up, holds you and hugs you when you’re sad or crying?” I said, “Yes”. He said “That’s God”. so Love is God too. Git it. Basically, resoonding in love is the answer to every problem I could ever have. No matter what, if I’m loving to myself and others, things always get better and ILML!!❤

– JamieQ

Here’s my recipe to get back to happiness, no matter what’s happening in my life…

(1) 10 deep, slow breaths. Breath in peace. Breath out discomfort. Envision connecting to love. 

(2) Eyes open. Stand up. Hands in the air. Say out loud: “I completely open myself up to abundance in love, peace, health, romance and finance. 

(3)10 slow toe touches. Breathe.

(4) Read some literature about gratitude, in a book or google “gratitude” online. 

(5) Text a gratitude list of at least 10 things to at least one other person. 

(6) Grab a pen & paper. Write down the date, time, where you are, how you feel, what’s up in life. If angry at someone write “I forgive —-, not because what they did was ok, but because I’m done being angry. Write down any amends you could make to take responsibility for any behavior you engaged in that you didn’t like. 

(7) Call anyone on your amends list now and say “(that thing I did) wasn’t cool and you don’t deserve to be treated that way. I’ll try not to do that ever again.” 

(8) Put a song on. 

(9) Sing and dance. 

(10) Now call someone who is struggling and see how they are. Let them know you care. 

When I follow the recipe for happiness, ILML! 

“By practicing the principles in all my affairs I am able to transform my difficulties into joy.” – Adapted from Daily Reflections 

Here is the definition of disappointment:  a feeling of dissatisfaction that results when your expectations are not realized. Be definition, we cannot experience disappointment without expectation. We expect them to be kind. We expect to get paid by our boss. We expect them to not abandon us. We expect to be healthy. Awareness that expectations are the reason we suffer, get angry and end up a victim, gets us halfway to happiness. Surrendering expectations, practicing acceptance and focusing on gratitude gets us all the way back to loving life. When I consciously connect to the higher power of love and goodness, I tap into the overflowing river of abundance and, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“I asked for all things that I might enjoy life; I was given life that I might enjoy all things.” – The 12 Step Prayer Book
This particular page talks about how events and situations which are gifts are often misinterpreted as “bad things”. But the more we practice living in gratitude, focusing on becoming better individuals, letting go of expectation and blame, the more we see EVERYTHING as a gift. We become spiritual savants, able to see what’s good in everything and everyone. And though our demands for property, prestige and affection decrease, we find ourselves surrounded by abundance and love. And when I’m doing the daily deal and living in the solution, I’m in the most wonderful place I can be, and ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Change can only begin when we become aware of the need to change.” – Reaching for Personal Freedom

I used to be a really angry guy. I had a million justifiable reasons too. Life was never fair, and I didn’t want to accept it laying down. I thought “if you had to go through what I did you’d be angry too”. Anger never fixed situations, made others change, or got me what I wanted. What it did was make me emotionally and physically sick. It closed off opportunities for abundance and healthy relationships. That awareness helped me change. Now, when anger comes up I choose to let go, plug into my higher power and focus on gratitude. When I stop letting my anger control me, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“When our ego forgets about God and tries to fix problems we can’t – or aren’t supposed to – solve, it’s time to pause and remind ourselves who is really in charge.” – Adapted from In God’s Care

I like overcoming challenges, fixing things that are broken and problem solving – it gives me satisfaction and a sense that everything is right again. But sometimes I try to fix problems that aren’t mine when others didn’t ask for my help. And other times, when I can’t solve my own problems, I stew in misery because I won’t ask for help or let go and surrender it to my higher power. By the simple act of doing the daily deal, I end up minding my own business, offering help and advice when asked, and letting go of people, places and things that are out of my control, I feel better and ILML!  

– JamieQ

“discounting our emotions won’t make feelings go away… don’t shut down our emotions… If we’re angry… accept and deal with it…” – The Language of Letting Go 

The gift of being a human is that we have the opportunity to experience and feel all the emotions. When angry, my goal is to recognize it, understand where it’s coming from, and use my program tools to move through it. Here’s a great anger affirmation I use:

I acknowledge my anger, a God-given emotion, and choose –as my response –  to practice acceptance, love, detachment and honesty, so that this anger need not turn into a festering resentment, but rather simply slip away, so that, once again, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“… walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress…” – AA p.100

What does it really mean to walk along a path called “Spiritual Progress”? Just wanting it or thinking about it doesn’t cut it for me. In order to progress spiritually, I have to take actual, specific actions aimed at becoming a better person each day. I read from inspirational books. I do my affirmations (prayer). I meditate. I do yoga. I express and share my gratitude. I am of service to others for fun and for free. I engage in hobbies. I exercise. I reflect upon my life by writing in my journal. I am loving to others and myself. When I make the time to take actions which help me become a better, more loving, kinder, gentler, happier person each and every day, ILML!  

– JamieQ

“Victimhood gets its power from resentments…” – You Can’t Make Me Angry
I’m only a victim when I’m angry, and choose to hang onto it. Did you hear the last part of that sentence? Choose to hang onto it? That’s what differentiates anger from resentment, whether I hang onto it or not. I met a friend this morning that’s been hanging onto his frustrations, disappointments and anger towards his wife. Of course, I’m sure there are things she does and says that are upsetting. And there are various ways to deal with those: journaling, doing a 10th step, finding our part, making amends, forgiving and setting healthy boundaries. But when we don’t get into the solution and instead hang onto the hurt, it becomes resentment, we start living the role of victim, messing up our side of the street. That’s not fun. Being a victim is uncomfortable. When I refuse to play the victim, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Many of us have been… depressed, or angry for so long, and these feelings have become so familiar, that we’ve gotten stuck.” – In God’s Care
This reading hits the mark for me. I used to spend most of my time disappointed in my life, others or myself. Angry and frustrated, I was a chronic blamer. The idea of “Being as happy as we make our minds up to be” seemed absurd. I would think “That’s easy for them to say, they aren’t me and don’t have to deal with what I have to deal with.” The truth is, there are people in way worse situations than I’ve been in who “insist on being happy”. I’ve discovered that if I really want what they have, I must be willing to work for it. That’s why I spend about 2-3 hours each day focusing on gratitide, inviting abundance, filling up my mind with inspiration, putting pen to paper, surrendering to love, practicing acceptance and then sharing it all with others. The result I get — peace of mind and happiness — is well worth the investment of time, because every day, ILML! 

– JamieQ