“You don’t just THINK it has been hard; it has been hard… You have been climbing a mountain. Breathe deeply. Move forward… The time is coming to relish and enjoy all which you have fought for… Peace, joy, abundant blessings… There will be more mountains, but now you know how to climb them.” – The Language of Letting Go

I went mountain climbing recently in Malibu hills. At the start of the climb my car keys fell out of my pocket. I tore up the mountainside looking for them. My hands literally got bloody pulling out bushes. In the end it got too dark to see. I became aware that it was over. Acceptance was my only hope. I took the next indicated action and called my wife and brother – they love me & came to my rescue. Awareness, acceptance and action led me back to peace. So grateful for the program tools and life lessons to use them on. ILML
– James Q

“God… often appears in human affairs in the guises of ‘luck,’ ‘chance,’ or ‘coincidence.” – Daily Reflections

About 25 years ago, on the way to a job interview my truck broke down. This was pre-cell phone days. I finally made it an hour late and was told they hired someone else as his assistant.

A year later, I read in a local paper that the owner and his assistant were arrested for fraud. I made up my mind to believe my truck breaking down was more than a coincident.

Today I realize that my HP often protects me by not giving me what I want. At the moment I may get upset, but in the long run I’m so grateful for those God shots. ILML!
– James

“… yesterday is but a dream, and tomorrow is only a vision. But today, well lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope.” Sanskrit Proverb from 12 Step Prayer Book

I like the idea that I can manifest great memories of yesterday and a positive outlook for tomorrow simply by staying in the moment and focusing on these three things:

(1) stay in gratitude,

(2) do the very best I can at all that’s in front of me, and

(3) get out of the expectations business by surrendering results to my HP and looking for the lesson from situations where I don’t get my will satisfied (from people, places and things).

Grateful for this beautiful sunny Sunday in tropical Maui, Hawaii. ILML 🙂
– James

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” – Believe

This is the essence of the attitude of gratitude we speak about in program, and the rewards we receive when we focus on all the great stuff in our lives.

Think about it for a second. How many things are you grateful for right now. Every part of your body? Each tooth you have? Your senses? People in your life? Lessons learned? Sunshine? I know my list is practically endless. And when I think of those things I particularly treasure, I can feel the years of joy want to spill out.

Life IS an amazing adventure – a limited time offer – and I for one am so grateful to be in it. ILML – James

“I’m striving for… an overall sense of wellness… it is no longer enough simply to survive… The principles and tools… help me to create an increasingly rich and fulfilling life… I’m… participating in a whole host of solutions that can lead to emotional, physical, and spiritual health.” Courage to Change

No matter what. No matter what. No matter what – I choose to love life, to be happy and helpful. To rejoice in this, a magic time where I have been given the gift to occupy a small space on this beautiful planet. I am forever grateful that our program has shown me, so brilliantly, how to do this. ILML! – James

” “Let Go” comes before “Let God” for a reason. I can’t expect God to do something if I am still holding onto my problem.” – How Alanon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics p.76

I came across this excerpt in Hope for Today. The reading talks about the futility of trying to control people, places, and things. It also suggests letting go of what others say and do, my expectations, and the outcomes in my life.

Another particular line I loved from the read was “It was no longer important that others read from the script that my expectations have written.”

When I reflect on this, I realize that about 99% of my frustration, anger, suffering and sadness come from exactly these things – unmet expectations of people, places and things. But here’s the good news:

The amount of time I spend in frustration, anger, suffering and sadness has substantially decreased as a result of (1) not poisoning myself with things that numb out my feelings and (2) embarking on a spiritual journey of recovery while applying all that I learn to my attitudes and actions each day.

If I reflect back, there was a time that feelings of frustration, anger, suffering and sadness could last hours or even days. Now, it would be highly unusual for me to get stuck in them for more than a few minutes, at which point my program and spiritual tools kick in, taking me me back to gratitude.

This change didn’t happen overnight. I got sober and white knuckled it for 7 years. After coming into the rooms, it took 3 more years for me to find a sponsor. Several years more before finding my Higher Power. But it wasn’t until 20 years sober that I starting working a life-changing spiritual program (and when I say spiritual, I don’t mean religious, I mean something that helps me to actively increase my love for life, for others and for myself).

My personal understanding is that the time I spend struggling is generally equal to the time between the moment I get upset until the time I close my eyes, remember my Higher Power, reconnect, and trust that I will be okay if I just let go and let God handle it. Simple but not always easy. However, this is exactly how ILML! – James

“… when we assume the best, our eyes are open to all that we are being given, and therefore we are able to receive it.” – Attitudes of Gratitude in Love p.92

When I do the work to change my glasses from the dark dingy ones to those bright yellow lenses that block the harmful rays but let in the sunlight of the spirit, I see the world differently, from a place of love rather than fear. Then, all my dreams are able to come true. Skating over to IHOP for lunch with my son Jake. ILML! – James

“ When someone says something to me and I have a strong reaction – wanting to cry, wanting to rage, or thinking I am inferior – I stop and visualize two doors. One is marked “Same old, same old” or “My Will.” The other is marked “New and different” or “God’s Will.” … other people’s behavior belongs to them and I don’t have to make it mine by reacting to it.” – Hope For Today p. 312

This is exactly the type of reminder that encourages me to change my icky behavior. Lately I’ve been hyper-aware of this glowing defect that seems to stubbornly rear it’s ugly head up and out of my mouth: I’m reacting to others words – especially my wife’s.

You would think with so many years in recovery, and working my program so diligently, I’d be cured of this destructive defect. And knowing how much it hurts her, while loving her so much, that I would be able to retrain my reactions. But for some reason, I’m having a difficult time pausing, listening, and saying ‘you may be right’ or ‘would you like me to just listen’ or ‘can I have some time to think about what you’ve said before I respond’.

I’ve used these simple words in the past and what they do for me is allow me to consider what she is saying and actually give myself permission to not have to respond immediately. These tools work really, really well. Still, as I said, lately I haven’t been using them.

That’s why I’m so grateful for the readings I do each day. They remind me that i have a choice. I can be right or happy. I want happy. And I’m willing to take the action to get it. Just finished speaking at a meeting. Now eating an avocado burrito. ILML! – James