12 Step

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My Inner Saboteur

“If you recognize yourself in the description of the self-critic, the best thing you can do for yourself and your marriage is to work on accepting yourself with all of your flaws.” – John Gottman’s Seven Principles

I have made a choice to love myself “warts n’ all.” There are some times that exertion of strength and enormous efforts are helpful and necessary, but that is not the only instrument in my recovery toolbox. I wouldn’t utilize a jackhammer when a jeweler’s screwdriver is indicated. In the same manner, especially in dealings with my inner saboteur, I have found it crucial to remember that I am perfectly imperfect. As a human and a miraculous creature indeed, I am a creative, intelligent, mistake making and loveable being.

– Aloha Mike

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The Abundant Life 

“Your whole character changes as you reach upward for the things of the spirit – for beauty, for love, for honesty, for purity, and for unselfishness. Reaching after these things of the spirit, your whole nature becomes changed so that you can best receive and delight in the wonders of the abundant life.”– 24 Hours a Day 6/7

I like anything that refers to living in abundant life. This quote reminds me that an abundant life starts with my spiritual program. It starts from the inside and goes out. This program gives me the tools to live spiritually on a daily basis. No matter how long my life is, I’m going to have to turn to the tools of the program on a daily basis. It is my only path to living abundantly. Grateful for a solution today. ILML!

– Jason

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The Boat of Life

“If you have no time for prayer and meditation, you will have lots of time for sickness and trouble.” – Emmet Fox’s Sermon On The Mount c. 1935

If I am not engaged in solution, then I’m not cultivating it. It’s of direct importance for me to understand that there’s a leak in my lifeboat (boat of life). It will continue to sink until I plug the hole. It’s crucial to be truthful when assessing and reflecting over the condition of my vessel. Concluding that the water on the floor is overspray from the waves at sea requires no great effort; however, that will not prevent me from sinking. I cannot afford to fool myself about values. Enacting the repair attempt takes more time and energy than saying, “Hey, it’s wet down there!”

– Aloha Mike

From Jamie: “I must take the time each day to connect with source. Maintaining the condition of my ‘boat of life’ will assure that I don’t drown in resentment or self-pity, and instead enjoy the ride.”

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Becoming a Part Of

“We have embarked upon a spiritual journey, one where we explore hidden motives, secrets, buried memories and unrecognized talents, guided by our higher power, but the steps we take must be our own.” – Adapted from Courage to Change 

If I were to be asked by my children what the single most important experience has been in my life, the one that propelled me towards more achievement, more happiness, and more success while simultaneously showing me what my true purpose in life is, I would say “Becoming a part of the 12 step fellowship and immersing myself fully in every aspect that it offers”. I’m so lucky to have found all of you – thank you for being there for me! ILML! 

– JamieQ

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Work a GREAT Program

“What keeps me from surrendering to a God of my understanding?” – Reaching for Personal Freedom 

First off, the HP I’ve made up for myself is all about goodness, gratitude and love. Secondly, I believe the answer lies in another question, namely “When difficult situations arise or when I’m in fear, how can I instantly connect, trust and be guided by a higher power rather than react, blame and try to control people, places and things?” The answer for me is simple. Work a GREAT program every single day. When I do that… ILML! 

– JamieQ

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THIS is How ILML!

“Let us be done with faultfinding…” – 12 Step Prayer Book 

I would say that, of all the defects of character available, faultfinding is pretty far up on the list. Whether I’m finding fault in others, myself or situations, faultfinding always leads to being less happy. I’m much better off staying in my hula hoop, focusing on gratitude and insisting on being happy regardless of anything. So today I’ll stop finding the faults and instead look for the goodness all around me. THIS is how ILML! 

– JamieQ

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I Fully Love Myself

“How do we love ourselves? By acting ‘as if’, forgiving ourselves quickly, giving ourselves treats, being good to ourselves, not depriving ourselves. One day we’ll wake up, look in the mirror, and really love the person looking back at us.” – Adapted from The Language of Letting Go 

I have been practicing letting go of those negative and self-defeating thoughts about me now for almost 14 years and not only do I fully love myself and the man I’m continuing to become, but ILML! 

– JamieQ

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Practice Awareness

In spite of the promise of joy that comes from our acts of kindness, the temptations to be self-centered, to hurt others, to fight to get our way, still rear their seductive hands. – In God’s Care

The longer I work this program, the more aware I am of the thoughts circulating inside my mind. “Wow, that’s a nice rainbow”, “hope my bank account is ok”, “did that guy just cut me off?” My thoughts can shift from gratitude to resentment to self-pity and back to gratitude very quickly. Awareness allows me to let go of thoughts that put me in dis-ease, and enjoy all the others. Today I’ll practice awareness of my thoughts so that ILML! 

– JamieQ

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Even in my Darkest Days

“My new life in recovery is built upon a spiritual foundation. Although the ground may quiver, regardless of how shaky I feel, I will not fall. I am safe.”- Adapted from Courage to Change 

Even before I was able to accept the idea of a higher power in my life, before I found a higher power of my understanding, before I stepped up my game and really formed a partnership with my higher power, I was being taken care of without knowing it. I was protected, even in my darkest days. There was a purpose for the struggle, one that prepared me to guide others into the light. And so I say these simple words often to my HP: “Thank you.” ILML! 

– JamieQ

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Gratitude Lists Rock

“When I remember my gratitude list, it’s very hard to conclude that God is picking on me.” – Daily Relections

I try to do a gratitude list every day of my life. And luckily, I’m surrounded by others in recovery that keep me accountable. I’m in an email G-list group with Adam, John and Frank. I’m in an email G-list text group with Chris, Elle, Russ, Robert and Vida. Mike sends me his every day. Joe, John, Tahir, Clayton, Christoper, Allen, Tom, Aundre, and Ely periodically send me their G-lists. And I send out my G-list to another 23 people as well. I love being in the Attitude of Gratitude and.. ILML! 

– JamieQ