“When I let go and let God, I’m more apt to find a place of compassion… the pendulum that swings back and forth between the black-and-white of obsession and indifference finds balance in the peaceful colors of serenity”. – Hope For Today

My uncomfortable feelings mostly come from obsession or passive-aggressive victimized pouting due to detaching with resentment.

In the first case, I have a hope that turns to an expectation as my excitement levels increase. I so badly want to get, fix, or stop something, that, without even realizing it, a disproportionate amount of focus shifts from my balanced life of program, service, work, and hobbies to one thing that dominates my thoughts. This obsession eventually leads to discomfort as my spiritual priorities are pushed aside. And serenity slips away.

In the second case, I am upset about something and, in my attempt to work my program I decide to detach. The problem is that I’m not detaching with love so my higher power is not part of the picture. And without my higher power I’m left with my lower power’s guidance. Sure I’ll detach from that sick person or situation, they or it is so mules send up who would want to be attached to that! But this is my life, and in some way I am attached to them or it. Poor me. Poor me. Pour me another drink. Right?

So what’s the solution? Let go and let God. For me it’s about bringing God into the situation. Obsession or discomfort, in either case the love that envelopes my heart when I reach out to my higher power will balance me, allowing me to step back from the situation and see it with clearer eyes. I can ease my obsession by gently refocusing on my program. I can ease my anger or frustration by gently refocusing on compassion and gratitude.

If I practice awareness of the moment when I start creeping into obsession or anger, and then breath while saying “Let Go and let God”, over and over, I will slowly start to feel better. These behaviors will then, once again, remind me how lucky I am to have the life I do, how lucky I am, and how much ILML!

– JamesQ

“Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.” – Mother Theresa

Although I personally am not religious, I’ve become quite open minded to anyone and everyone who speaks on love, gratitude and happiness. From every walk of life I seek their words out and practice them.

A smile. So simple and yet it has the power to spread love and kindness to others without even saying a word. Which opens up the opportunity to then spread those positive feelings to so many more. Today I will practice smiling to strangers and, hopefully, it won’t creep them out 🙂 ILML!

– JamesQ

“…like an actor who wants to run the whole show… if only people would… The show doesn’t come off… we step on the toes of our fellows… they retaliate… our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making.” – AA p.60-61

That’s the story of my life right there – or at least most of the problems I’ve had in it. I’ve found that pretty much everyone, at some point, wants to run the show, and they tend to want to do it at the same moment someone else does.

Although there are times when we do need to be in control (driving a car, guiding young children, taking care of my responsibilities), with respect to the choices that others make, I find that it’s best for me to step out of the limelight and allow them to be in charge of their own destiny, regardless of whether I agree with their decisions or not. Doing this is the easier, softer way, and when I do so, I’m employing just another tool that allows me to remember why ILML!

– James

“Part of my recovery has involved reversing some old ways of thinking.” – Courage to Change

After 32 years sober, I’m still sick of some of my behaviors. Using all of the recovery tools I’ve discovered has helped lessen them, but I’d really like to stop behaving in ways that hurt me or others.

Recently I started writing an opposite list in the morning, and it’s really helping. I spend 5 minutes reflecting on negative things I believe. “My finances are low. My job is boring. Etc” then I only write the opposite (true or not). “I have plenty of money. My job is fun.”

By planting the positive seeds, my attitude has benefited, and so has followed my behavior and my life. Today I’m open to new ways to evolve into a better man, and that’s just one more reason why ILML!

– James

“… there is nothing more important in my life than becoming more loving and spiritual.” – Hope For Today

Not a whole lot can be added to those words. They are, for me, the essential truth. Everything and everyone, including me, gets better when I strive to be more loving and connected. This program is the bomb and ILML!

– JamesQ