“We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us… now we begin to have a spiritual experience.” – 12&12 p. 75

Does this promise sound pretty good? I can tell you, from personal experience, that it’s AMAZING! But let’s look at what comes before it in the book: A thorough personal inventory and sharing it with someone else whom we trust to be both gentle and encouraging. When we are brave enough to really dig into those parts of ourself that we would rather keep a secret, and have the courage to reveal everything about ourselves to another – holding nothing back – we discover that we are not nearly as hopeless, damaged or “bad” as we had thought. And more important, we then have the opportunity to be free of it all. I am only as sick as my secrets, but when I have nothing left to hide, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Our relationship will improve dramatically when we stop rescuing others and stop expecting them to rescue us.” – The Language of Letting Go 

Firefighters, doctors, military, police and super heroes are expected to rescue others. The same goes for parents with very small kids, or those taking care of the very elderly or ill. However, even they aren’t in the business of rescuing people who have the ability to rescue themselves. The point is, I’m here to help others when they cannot help themselves. But the moment I start doing for them what they can and should do for themselves, I actually hurt more than help. It’s time to let go and let THEM, no matter how much we may still want to help. When I take care of me and allow them to take care of themselves, our relationship improves and ILML!   

– JamieQ

“I noticed that I had begun to be angry… I thought that other people and situations were to blame… the need to be right was robbing me of my serenity in all kinds of situations.” Courage to Change 

Just because they blame me doesn’t mean I’m to blame. And just because I think they’re wrong doesn’t make it so. When I’m right, your wrong and you feel bad. When you’re right, I’m wrong and I feel bad. There are no winners in the blame game. Instead, my goal is to allow those in my life to express their concerns with my behavior, acknowledge those concerns, and attempt to change the things I am doing that may be hurting our relationship. But they may not be in the same place as me. They may not be ready or willing to change, like I am – and that’s ok. It’s not my place to change them. Instead, I offer my concerns about their behavior only when asked OR if their behavior is so egregious that, unless it changes soon, I am leaving the relationship. This doesn’t make me a doormat. It makes me a person that works a great program and wants to be free of anger, because in doing so, ILML!  

– Jamie Q

“even the chief architect, standing in the ruins of his dream, could laugh at himself…” 12&12 p.149

This page, in Tradition 4, also talks about Rule Number 62: Don’t take yourself too damn seriously, and reminds me that “we aren’t a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn’t want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life.” (pg 132, AA). The bottom line is that when I’m able to do as Milton D. suggests – especially when I perceive things as terrible – and “Lighten the f*ck up,” ILML! 

– JamieQ

“When we make the decision to turn our will over to the care of God, what are we actually doing? …we are saying “You decide. And then something miraculous happens. Peace descends upon us.” — In God’s Care

Here is what I think: God is not a man, an entity or a thing. God is too intangible to be explainable, too mysterious to be definable, and too boundless to be typecast. Our program suggests that we discover an understanding God that resonates for us personally. To me, God is not a loving and grateful entity, but rather IS the actual energy of love and gratitude. When I turn a problem over, I say “The energy I’m feeling around this situation is no longer comfortable. I surrender this to the energy of love and gratitude that I may be free of it, and goodness will descend upon all. ILML!”

“..(can I) accept my request being turned down.” Courage to Change 
This is a tough one for me. Not so much as it used to be, however, depending upon the place I am spiritually and mentally, having my (reasonable) requests denied can be very upsetting. Why is that? Could it possibly be because I have an expectation? Is it possible that I feel it’s unfair because…? When I run to the restroom desperate to use it, only to discover that it’s occupied, I’m in trouble. However, when I start running, then remember it may be occupied, if it turns out that it’s in use, I’m ok waiting. Likewise, prior to making a request, if I simply shift my expectation and assume the answer may be no, and I’m ok with that answer, I’m much more at peace if the answer turns out to be “No.” A great strategy because the more often I’m at peace, the more ILML! 

– JamieQ

“I am grateful to have God in my life.” – Daily Reflections
For the first 10 years of recovery I was the PG James (pre-God). The idea of God was so absurd that I was shocked so many people actually believed in this fantasy called God. The problem was that I wanted the promises that those who believed in God so often spoke of: a peace of mind, a sense of comfort during difficulties, a source of inspiration and direction. But how could I get this when I knew God was a figment of their imagination. Then it came to me. If I was so sure they were prentending, and concurrently believed that they were happier by doing so, why couldn’t I pretend? I reasoned that, so long as I knew my God was make-believe I could try. That was the opening of the door. The rest is history. I now experience all those promises myself with my make-believe friend called God (compressed GOoDness). And as a result, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Acceptance gives me choices… My sponsor suggested having back up plans whenever my plans involve someone… It was a great way to put acceptance to work in my life.” — Courage to Change 

Nobody in the world is always dependable, including myself. But somehow it’s so easy to have expectations that others will ALWAYS follow through. This inevitably leads to disappointment, and in the case where it’s happened before with the same person, a sense of hopelessness. I may get angry, depressed or both. But I discovered that all that drama was avoidable, once I decided I didn’t want it in my life anymore. These days I repower myself everyday by taking recovery-oriented actions which help me stay in the attitude of gratitude no matter what happens around me, and as a result, about 98.6% of the time, ILML! 

“Joy comes from ongoing and active study, as well as the application of the principles in my everyday life, and from sharing that experience with others.” – Daily Reflections
I’ve been told by some that I’m one of the few people they know who really loves my life everyday. The truth is, I love life because I do the work everyday to get those results. It certainly doesn’t happen by itself. In fact, on those days when I am “too busy” to do the work, I love life less. When I miss days in a row, I start not liking others and eventually dislike my life. And so I do the daily deal, share it with others, connecting with source, meditating and exercising. I reason my thoughts right out of my mind by putting pen to paper and writing them down. And, as a result of being super diligent in all my rituals, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Do I remember that I have a right to my opinion but that others don’t have to share it?” — Daily Reflections 

I grew up with two parents who, before having kids, were just two people. When they argued, like most people, each of them wanted to be right and sway the other to agree with them. They acted the same way with us. And when I grew up, I did the same with everyone else – and I was good at it. I can still use my attorney-like personality to drill others until they finally relent and agree with me out of utter exhaustion. But this form of manipulation saboutages my relationships. In recovery, my goal is to state my opinion gently (if asked) and let others have theirs. When I choose to live and let live, instead of needing others to agreee with me, ILML! 

– JamieQ