“… change need not be so scary… My Higher Power May be inviting me to walk further down my spiritual path…” — Hope for Today 

I had the opportunity and privilege to talk with a friend this morning about some changes that may be occurring in his life. At first glance, they could be looked at with fear; fear that he may lose something and it could hurt. A part of my mind will worries about this all the time.

But “what ifing” is a painful exercise in fear, and keeps me out of the present, away from where peace, serenity and happiness lives. I’m not sure I’ll ever overcome fear of losing things I love or think I need, but by turning to my Higher Power when those feelings come up, I can walk through anything. When my mind wanders into the scary what ifs, by actively choosing to let go of them with the belief that my HP will bring me people and things that are even better for me, I can walk through the sadness of loss and into a place of peace, where new happiness awaits me. 

When I trust that my HP has my back, and everything that is happening is exactly as it should be in order for me to be more happy, more joyous, and more free… ILML! 

– JamieQ

The 11th step prayer is my favorite. These are the words I hear when I say it…

God, use me to bring peace to others in the world. 

Today if I feel anger towards another, please let me bring love instead. 

And if I am hurt by someone, help me to not react but to instead remember that they are like me, imperfect, and that I don’t need to get angry or even or mean. 

If I start doubting myself or life in general, please let me hear your words “everything will be ok.” 

If I feel hopeless, remind me that there is always hope if only I reach out to you.

If I feel like darkness is closing in around me, turn on the sun for just a moment.  

If I feel sad, help me realize that it’s ok because joy is just around the corner. 

And today instead of trying to get others to make me feel better, give me the opportunity to comfort others and encourage me to be of service to them. 

And rather than trying to be heard and understood, which I so frequently do, let me be a little quieter today, listen better, and try to understand how it might feel if I were in their shoes. 

And remind me that the best way to feel loved is to go out there and love everyone else, and more importantly even, to let them know how much I love them. 

Because I now know in my heart that the best kind of reward comes from giving of myself to others. 

And that I am only ever truly forgiven of my wrongs and character defects, and am finally able to stop blaming myself, when I’m consciously able to consistently forgive others when they behave inappropriately.

God, I know this life doesn’t last forever and there are no guarantees how long I even get in this world. So let me live my life in a consistent state of Thank-You-Ness. In that way, my spirit of loving life will live on forever in this beautiful world. 

– JamieQ

On Sunday evenings in Maui, I’m lucky enough to attend a DW meeting in a home for those of us who want to work the Al-Anon Program, both alcoholics and normies. We read out of one AA and one Al-Anon book, sharing on the readings and how they relate to our lives. Today I’ve decided to share with you some excerpts from each of the books we use at the meeting:

“If I don’t make big problems out of little ones, I can save myself much grief.” — One Day at a Time in Alanon

“We alcoholics are the biggest rationalizers in the world.” – As Bill Sees It, p. 128

“Today I am aware of many gifts and wonders because I am actively practicing gratitude. So I thank my Higher Power for little things as well as big ones.” — Courage to Change 

. . . and when we were wrong promptly admitted it… regardless of how it might turn out. — Daily Reflections

“By improving my conscious contact with God, I find that emotional balance and inner peace can be a part of my daily life.” — Hope for Today 

Double Winners meetings can’t be listed in directories or officially connected to either Program. But for me and some others, it’s really nice to have one Al-Anon meeting where I can admit my alcoholism as well as the effects that the alcoholism of others has had on my life. I’m grateful for A.A., Al-Anon andDouble  Winner meetings and… ILML! 

— JamieQ

“… a voice deep within me told me to ask the “odd lady” to be my sponsor. I knew this voice was my Higher Power’s. “You’ve got to be kidding,” I said.” — Hope for Today 

That story reminds me of one of my own. One day I had a fight with my wife. I was really, really angry at something I can’t even remember. I went into the bathroom and was yelling. I looked up into the mirror and I, too, heard a voice deep within me. I knew for sure it wasnt me because it said, “I want you to go back out there, wrap your arms around your wife, put your head on her shoulder, then tell her you are sorry and that you love her.” I literally said out loud to the mirror “No way! Absolutely not! I am not going to do that!” This debate went back and forth a few times until I finally said, “Fine. You want me to do that? Ok. But you’ll see. It won’t make a difference!” So I did it — begrudgingly. And guess what happened? The anger melted. She held me tight. She said “Me too baby. I’m sorry. I love you.” And we ended up having a great night from there on. 

You may be saying “Come on? A God voice? Seriously! That’s absurd!” I don’t blame you. I would probably have said the same thing 20 years ago. But I know what I know. That night, and many times since, the voice that resonates at a higher energy, where feelings like love, peace, happiness and helpfulness exist, will speak to me. And when I listen for—and to—the words of my Higher Power… ILML! 

— JamieQ

“Practicing turning to God for direction, we discover a serenity we have never known…” – In God’s Care

I was chatting with a friend of mine yesterday about this exact thing. Specifically, we discussed Emmet Fox’s The Golden Key. Emmet’s solution, when things are uncomfortable or he’s having trouble is to simply say the following:

God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God…

Now, I understand that, for those of you who have a difficult time believing in God, this may be a very tall order. The simple idea that saying the word “God” over and over again could relieve us of misery, may at first seem quite absurd. But, if the pain is great enough, and you’re willing to do anything to feel better, I urge you to give it a shot, while keeping in mind what it says on page 97 in the 12&12: “Almost the only scoffers prayer are those who never tried it enough.”  

When all else fails, using the Golden Key always works for me. Probably because whenever I plug back into my HP… ILML! 

– JamieQ

“… born on a planet so rich in nature… open your eyes… the world is full of so much that deserves our gratitude.” -Dr. Masaru Emoto

It’s easy for me to get so focused on my life that I forget how amazing it really is; the planet, nature and just being alive. I tend to get very busy with work, family, friends, service, meetings, rituals, hobbies, self-care, fellowship, bathing, grooming, dressing, eating, cleaning and sleeping. But at nighttime, after I pull into my driveway at home, one look up at the billions of stars in the sky reminds me that this is all a miracle. I am always grateful for the gifts that I have been blessed with and the people I get to love. 

Today I will also make it a point to be grateful for the miracle of life, our planet and our universe. When I remember, appreciate, and feel gratitude for the miraculousness of everything… ILML! 

– JamieQ

Material success provides momentary pleasures but doesn’t leave us with lasting happiness… I will measure my success today by …” – In God’s Care

How do I measure success? Well, I love nice things; I always have. A few years after graduating college, I found myself sober, in a very respectable job, wearing a three piece suit, driving a convertible Mercedes 230SL, owning a condo, and with at least a couple hundred dollars in my pocket at all times. Guess what? I was miserable. True story! It wasn’t until after I came into the program, lost all those material things and then built a new life on a foundation of kindness, love and service that I finally found true peace of mind and happiness. Don’t get me wrong, I still love nice things. The difference is that now I put the principles of the program first. That way, whether or not the material stuff follows, I’m still at peace and happy. I’ve discovered that as long as I make sure I work my program first, get to meetings regularly, and stay in constant contact with my Higher Power … ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Help me remember that my problems are temporary…” — The Language of Letting Go 

Actually, the reason I am able to transition through problems, not get bogged down in them, see them as opportunities, let them go when I’m powerless over them, and not react and create more drama is because of Alanon. The reading at the beginning of each meeting alone is enough to affect a profound change in me  I look forward to hearing it often, especially theses words:

“… you will find in this fellowship the help and friendship we have been privileged to enjoy… in Al-Anon we discover that no situation is really hopeless… our program… has helped many of us find solutions that lead to serenity. So much depends on our own attitudes, and as we learn to place our problem in it’s true perspective, we find it loses it’s power to dominate our thoughts and our lives… Our thinking becomes distorted by trying to force solutions and we become irritable and unreasonable without knowing it… The loving interchange of help among members and daily reading of Al-Anon literature thus make us ready to receive the priceless gift of serenity… we feel free to say what is in our minds and hearts… in Al-Anon.

When I go to Al-Anon meetings, share recovery with others and work the program each day… ILML! 

— JamieQ

“I will receive from this day exactly what I give to it… as I love, I will be loved… without thought of failure of the past or anxieties for the future… I will have no regrets… thank you, my Higher Power…” — 12 Step Prayer Book 

What an amazing way to live life. Like I’ve heard so often in the rooms, “simple but not easy.” I want to feel abundance, happiness, joy, success, peace, serenity, and love.  In order to get it I must believe I already have it (which is true, I do), and then share it with others. I’m going to do just that today, because whenever I live life with that kind of attitude… ILML! 

– JamieQ

“When you can’t control what’s happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening. That’s where your power is! – Anonymous

Sometimes things are so overwhelming they feel beyond our control, but my attitude is NEVER beyond my control. By changing my internal dialogue (switching the radio station), I regain a sense of peace that, moments ago, I had lost. Just this morning I was thinking, “I’ve got so much to do I’m overwhelmed and don’t know how I’ll handle it all”. (This is after my prayers and affirmations, lol). 

Because I’ve been practicing self-awareness of my thoughts for a long time, I realized instantly that I needed to change them up. So I said to myself:

 “Today is filled with a ton of challenging things to do and I’m gonna kill it! I won’t procrastinate! I’m going to jump right in and get so much done! It’s gonna feel great being super productive!” 

After that I turned on B52’s Rock Lobster, got into the shower, sang, danced, washed up, dressed, made my bed, cleaned my house, and headed here to Starbucks to get inspired for the amazing day I’m about to participate in.  

When I shift my response, not just towards others but also to any negative thinking I may be engaging in, ILML! 

– JamieQ